Come lay with me,
Lay between my legs,
Rest your head on my tummy,
Quiet now,
Don't say a word,
Just listen,
Hear me with your body,
Hear my hands,
My words,
My thoughts.
Honey, I love you,
with everything,
I love you,
I want you,
I need you.
Just You.
Just you,
Not what you can do,
Not to protect me,
Not to keep me from harm,
Cause, having you,
Right there at my side,
I won't need protecting,
Your strength will be mine.
You wanna be my Marine,
My knight in shining armour,
My dragon slayer,
My shelter from the storm,
You wanna be the person,
I look up to with eye's full of love.
That's you already.
I want you,
Just you,
Right there by my side,
No dragons no slay,
No storms to weather,
No enemy to conquer,
No fights to win.
Just be there,
Just you.
Just you,
That's who I feel in love with,
You....
Tuesday 11 June 2013
Working through intrusive thoughts: Grief
Reply to a post on facebook,
where someone was asking for help to work through grief. On The Nutters Club facebook page.
My life has been in the same neck of the woods as you. I don't know how you feel, but I've been lost in grief too.
My life has been in the same neck of the woods as you. I don't know how you feel, but I've been lost in grief too.
I
found that by compartmentalizing my grief, just putting it to one
side, and starting to look at other things that either used to
interest me, or something that was totally new to learn about, has
lead to me not only learning new stuff, but also learning about my
journey with grief.
When
I'm in a state, I find reading very difficult, too many obtrusive
thoughts. But either listening or watching something, especially
something that I can stop and start if I need to, is very good.
To
give an example. The other night listening to talkback, I heard
someone talk about a NZ actor, who was around back in 30's, I
wondered what she was doing now, so went and googled her name.
The 1st result was was wikipedia, and that was interesting probably, but my mind was busy with intrusive thoughts, and I didn't adsorb much, except she was still alive lol
The 1st result was was wikipedia, and that was interesting probably, but my mind was busy with intrusive thoughts, and I didn't adsorb much, except she was still alive lol
the
second result in google, was to a video clip on the site I have since
started exploring, a site that has many many visual clips, something
like youtube, but only listing productions.
The page had several links to short clips of what she has done over the years. Then in the related part of the page, either the same actor or subject, there was 1 full TV program, on a subject she had spoken.
So I went to view that, and finding out there were several full TV programs on that site, I started browsing the site for full length vids, and the journey began in earnest.
Over the past 4 days or so, I have watched about 30 of so clips on various subjects, everything from extinct plant in NZ, and how they have worked out why it disappeared about 50 years ago, right through Maori land disputes, a particular type of fish, finding Captain Cooks anchor in Taihati, to the 1st episode of a TV series Doves of War, to a couple of comedies, a couple of kids science programs, etc etc, to last night, when I discovered quite a few programs looking at ways us kiwi's support each other. One of those programs touched on grief, and I heard something that made sense to my recovery. It was like the full circle.
Today, I'm back here, contributing to this group, with bits and pieces of what I have learned.
The page had several links to short clips of what she has done over the years. Then in the related part of the page, either the same actor or subject, there was 1 full TV program, on a subject she had spoken.
So I went to view that, and finding out there were several full TV programs on that site, I started browsing the site for full length vids, and the journey began in earnest.
Over the past 4 days or so, I have watched about 30 of so clips on various subjects, everything from extinct plant in NZ, and how they have worked out why it disappeared about 50 years ago, right through Maori land disputes, a particular type of fish, finding Captain Cooks anchor in Taihati, to the 1st episode of a TV series Doves of War, to a couple of comedies, a couple of kids science programs, etc etc, to last night, when I discovered quite a few programs looking at ways us kiwi's support each other. One of those programs touched on grief, and I heard something that made sense to my recovery. It was like the full circle.
Today, I'm back here, contributing to this group, with bits and pieces of what I have learned.
Monday 10 June 2013
About dyslexia, Teaching a Dyslexic Child Creative Writing is Easy
Teaching a Dyslexic Child Creative Writing is Easy
Dylexia is only a handicap if you let it be one
Dyslexics are often misunderstood; many people believe that having Dyslexia means you can't read or write at all, although this might be true for some people with very severe Dyslexia, the majority of Dyslexics have some reading and writing skills to varying degrees.
In fact older Dyslexics often got through school without anyone knowing they were anything else than "a little slow" when it comes to reading and writing. However with every dyslexic the writer has ever known, they are always far from "Slow". Their thinking and problem solving abilities are usually outstanding, they are so quick, they leave most people 3 miles back down the road.
Dyslectics range in severity from just having certain words that they can't ever remember how to spell, having many words that can't be spelt correctly, to only being able to spell 2 or 3 letter words. Often dyslectics with a medium dose of Dyslexia can read and can find other peoples spelling mistakes. I certainly always could.
They can see a spelling mistake, not know how to spell the word but still know it is wrong. other times, they can see the word is misspelt, and can usually find the right word out of a list of words, like with Micosofts Word spellcheck.
It's often thought that people with dyslexia can't read, that in my case is a load of huey, I have read many epic's novels over the years, and although I might stumble over the odd unfamiliar word, I read pretty well, I can't read aloud however, and since in school reading aloud in the early years is common, it's how I got the title of idiot or slow.
Reading can often be an issue, but it's often more to do with the number of words in a paragraph and the size of the font used. It's common practice with a dyslexic reading on a computer, to highlight the line they are reading, and then reading is or can be relativity easy. To highlight part of the text just left-click your mouse at the start of some text and holding the mouse button down, drag or push the mouse pointer down one or more lines.
You will note with my writing, I use far to many paragraph breaks, I usually don't make a paragraph any longer the 4 to 6 lines, this is as much for my dyslexia as for the reader, reading long paragraphs is extremely difficult, even if you don't have dyslexia.
Depending on the severity of the dyslexia, most people can lead quite normal lives and even when the condition is severe, sufferers usually just find jobs that use their other inherent skills, many dyslexics are very artistic or creative in some way. As with other disabilities like blindness the human spirit or body makes up for less in one area by providing more in another area.
So if your child is diagnosed with Dyslexia don't despair, they aren't doomed to a life of being simple or slow, you are guaranteed to have a child that is very creative in some way, often in several ways.
Probably the very best thing you could do for a child that is dyslexic is to buy them a computer, and encourage them to write. This may sound like the worst possible idea, but let's explain further.
All word processing programs have a spell-check, and spell checks or more the auto correct feature are a real gift for people with dyslexia. The spell-check/auto correct will need a bit of programming to begin with, which you as a parent will have to do, but once done, your child will be able to write with relative ease, and the more someone practices the better they get.
A spell-check can be programmed to correct any spelling errors as the person is typing, and you will quickly notice that your child will make the same spelling errors all the time.
You may think that having spell-check on auto correct will never help your child to spell correctly, and that's true to a certain extent, most dyslexics say they spell the same words wrong as they did when they were children.
1. The problems with not letting a program fix the spelling errors immediately, are the child/person will see they have made several spelling errors and will become discouraged about writing more.
2. Seeing a word spelt wrong only instills the misspelling in the mind of the writer so even with practice your child will probably not learn the spelling of the word anyway.
Read this quick page of how to set up auto spell correct for dylexics
http://sicktodeathnz.blogspot.co.nz/2013/06/how-to-set-up-spell-check-for-dyslexic.html
To give an example of a word that is often spelled incorrectly by dyslexic writers; we'll use the word brochure.
There are about 4 ways that the writer of this article spells brochure: with an 'ire' instead of 'ure' happens often... 'brouch' is probably the most common mistake. The spell-check has been programmed to pick up any of these incorrect ways of spelling and change them to the correct spelling, which is why the full word cannot be given as an example here.
The majority of children, probably only use about 100 different words on a regular basis when writing, occasionally using extra nouns. Often people with dyslexia can spell 2 and 3 letter words, so it's only the longer words that need to be programmed into the spell-check. But even if your child spells 'the' with the 't' and 'h' transposed word processor will fix it. Spell-check can be configured to always correct misspellings.
You will find your child is so liberated by not having to worry about spelling; they will probably get right into writing. The first project might be a diary then onward to bigger and better things.
Being able to express yourself without ridicule is a wonderful thing, and your child will always remember how you took that time, and gave them that freedom.
Writers Bio
Lynny Brown an SEO in San Diego; works from home. After spending 15 or so years housebound with chronic back pain. Being in constant pain, and wanting to get away from pain, she found the computer and internet a wonderful distraction.
Gradually though the pain grew worse, and she ended up using the computer from bed, laying flat on the bed, with the keyboard propped on her stomach, the mouse on a book beside her hip, and the computer monitor on a kitchen table that straddled the bed.
As the pain grew worse, so did her dependence on painkillers. In April 09 she met a chiropractor via craigslist, that offered to swap SEO for his pain relief techniques. A few months later she was up and walking without medication. Now 12 months later she is quite healthy.
She is a self-taught SEO, learning these skills before even knowing what Search Engine Optimization was, back in 1999. Learning SEO came from simply wanting to see her own website rank highly in search engines. As it turns out her SEO skills have given her life back as an added bonus.
Note November 2012:
The above bio was written about 3 years ago, and much has changed. After living almost out of pain for a very short time, I was involved in a car accident in San Diego, a woman talking on her cellphone while driving, rear-ended our car while we were stopped at traffic lights, she didn't even try to slow down before she hit. I got severe neck whiplash injuries, and 10 days later, a blood clot from my neck moved up into my brain, and I had a stroke.
After the stroke, I was unable to work, and not having medical insurance, I couldn't afford to live or die in america, so I can home to New Zealand, where I live both with chronic pain again and the effects of the stroke. I'm still unable to work, I have had to go bankrupt, and my marriage of 10 years to an american is over.
Dylexia is only a handicap if you let it be one
Dyslexics are often misunderstood; many people believe that having Dyslexia means you can't read or write at all, although this might be true for some people with very severe Dyslexia, the majority of Dyslexics have some reading and writing skills to varying degrees.
In fact older Dyslexics often got through school without anyone knowing they were anything else than "a little slow" when it comes to reading and writing. However with every dyslexic the writer has ever known, they are always far from "Slow". Their thinking and problem solving abilities are usually outstanding, they are so quick, they leave most people 3 miles back down the road.
Dyslectics range in severity from just having certain words that they can't ever remember how to spell, having many words that can't be spelt correctly, to only being able to spell 2 or 3 letter words. Often dyslectics with a medium dose of Dyslexia can read and can find other peoples spelling mistakes. I certainly always could.
They can see a spelling mistake, not know how to spell the word but still know it is wrong. other times, they can see the word is misspelt, and can usually find the right word out of a list of words, like with Micosofts Word spellcheck.
It's often thought that people with dyslexia can't read, that in my case is a load of huey, I have read many epic's novels over the years, and although I might stumble over the odd unfamiliar word, I read pretty well, I can't read aloud however, and since in school reading aloud in the early years is common, it's how I got the title of idiot or slow.
Reading can often be an issue, but it's often more to do with the number of words in a paragraph and the size of the font used. It's common practice with a dyslexic reading on a computer, to highlight the line they are reading, and then reading is or can be relativity easy. To highlight part of the text just left-click your mouse at the start of some text and holding the mouse button down, drag or push the mouse pointer down one or more lines.
You will note with my writing, I use far to many paragraph breaks, I usually don't make a paragraph any longer the 4 to 6 lines, this is as much for my dyslexia as for the reader, reading long paragraphs is extremely difficult, even if you don't have dyslexia.
Depending on the severity of the dyslexia, most people can lead quite normal lives and even when the condition is severe, sufferers usually just find jobs that use their other inherent skills, many dyslexics are very artistic or creative in some way. As with other disabilities like blindness the human spirit or body makes up for less in one area by providing more in another area.
So if your child is diagnosed with Dyslexia don't despair, they aren't doomed to a life of being simple or slow, you are guaranteed to have a child that is very creative in some way, often in several ways.
Probably the very best thing you could do for a child that is dyslexic is to buy them a computer, and encourage them to write. This may sound like the worst possible idea, but let's explain further.
All word processing programs have a spell-check, and spell checks or more the auto correct feature are a real gift for people with dyslexia. The spell-check/auto correct will need a bit of programming to begin with, which you as a parent will have to do, but once done, your child will be able to write with relative ease, and the more someone practices the better they get.
A spell-check can be programmed to correct any spelling errors as the person is typing, and you will quickly notice that your child will make the same spelling errors all the time.
You may think that having spell-check on auto correct will never help your child to spell correctly, and that's true to a certain extent, most dyslexics say they spell the same words wrong as they did when they were children.
1. The problems with not letting a program fix the spelling errors immediately, are the child/person will see they have made several spelling errors and will become discouraged about writing more.
2. Seeing a word spelt wrong only instills the misspelling in the mind of the writer so even with practice your child will probably not learn the spelling of the word anyway.
Read this quick page of how to set up auto spell correct for dylexics
http://sicktodeathnz.blogspot.co.nz/2013/06/how-to-set-up-spell-check-for-dyslexic.html
To give an example of a word that is often spelled incorrectly by dyslexic writers; we'll use the word brochure.
There are about 4 ways that the writer of this article spells brochure: with an 'ire' instead of 'ure' happens often... 'brouch' is probably the most common mistake. The spell-check has been programmed to pick up any of these incorrect ways of spelling and change them to the correct spelling, which is why the full word cannot be given as an example here.
The majority of children, probably only use about 100 different words on a regular basis when writing, occasionally using extra nouns. Often people with dyslexia can spell 2 and 3 letter words, so it's only the longer words that need to be programmed into the spell-check. But even if your child spells 'the' with the 't' and 'h' transposed word processor will fix it. Spell-check can be configured to always correct misspellings.
You will find your child is so liberated by not having to worry about spelling; they will probably get right into writing. The first project might be a diary then onward to bigger and better things.
Being able to express yourself without ridicule is a wonderful thing, and your child will always remember how you took that time, and gave them that freedom.
Writers Bio
Lynny Brown an SEO in San Diego; works from home. After spending 15 or so years housebound with chronic back pain. Being in constant pain, and wanting to get away from pain, she found the computer and internet a wonderful distraction.
Gradually though the pain grew worse, and she ended up using the computer from bed, laying flat on the bed, with the keyboard propped on her stomach, the mouse on a book beside her hip, and the computer monitor on a kitchen table that straddled the bed.
As the pain grew worse, so did her dependence on painkillers. In April 09 she met a chiropractor via craigslist, that offered to swap SEO for his pain relief techniques. A few months later she was up and walking without medication. Now 12 months later she is quite healthy.
She is a self-taught SEO, learning these skills before even knowing what Search Engine Optimization was, back in 1999. Learning SEO came from simply wanting to see her own website rank highly in search engines. As it turns out her SEO skills have given her life back as an added bonus.
Note November 2012:
The above bio was written about 3 years ago, and much has changed. After living almost out of pain for a very short time, I was involved in a car accident in San Diego, a woman talking on her cellphone while driving, rear-ended our car while we were stopped at traffic lights, she didn't even try to slow down before she hit. I got severe neck whiplash injuries, and 10 days later, a blood clot from my neck moved up into my brain, and I had a stroke.
After the stroke, I was unable to work, and not having medical insurance, I couldn't afford to live or die in america, so I can home to New Zealand, where I live both with chronic pain again and the effects of the stroke. I'm still unable to work, I have had to go bankrupt, and my marriage of 10 years to an american is over.
How to Set Up Spell-Check For a Dyslexic Child
How to Set Up Spell-Check For a Dyslexic Child
Dyslexic Children Are Often Very Creative
Note: (2013) This was written several years ago, for an older version of Microsoft Word, so the instructions for setting up the auto correct maybe different now.
You should be able to find the features I mention, they just might be in different places.
When teaching a child with Dyslexia how to use a computer to write just follow these steps, and you'd be amazed how quickly your child will become a confident writer and child in general.
Make the whole exercise a fun experience for your child. Have them watch the magic of a computer spell-check , write out a paragraph yourself, making some common spelling mistakes, explain You often spell this word a way the computer doesn't like. Spell the words almost correctly, maybe transposing a couple of letters show the child how computer underlines the errors, talk about how magic it is to find the words it doesn't like. (sometimes computers don't like a correctly spelt word)
First copy the wrongly spelt word so you can paste in, then right-click on the spelling error and Word will probably give you a few choices of what the word should be, but choose Auto-Correct then Auto Correct Options, put the incorrect spelling along with the correct spelling in and click ok. Do this with the other spelling errors, and then go back to your paragraph click right after the wrong spelt word and hit the spacebar... and like magic the word with auto correct.
Talk about how cool it is, and try typing the word incorrectly again, magic it fixes itself. You will probably know some of the words your child has a problem with, make sure a couple of those words are in the paragraph you write.
Ask them to write something using the word in a different way. Watch the magic again, get excited with the child.
Avoid saying "you spelt it wrong" just make the computer finding mistakes a fun thing, saying things like, "oh look it's found a new word , come on, let's make the computer change/magic it to one it likes."
Rather than "lets make the computer do it right or fix it"
Depending on the ages of the child, get them to write something to their level perhaps only a sentence, then program the spell-check with anything it finds. Do another sentence and so on, until you have found as many of the words commonly used by the child as possible.
Let your child write something by themselves.
Come back, and do the spell-check/auto correct thing, add the new words they have used to auto-correct. Soon you will only have to check occasionally, or when they ask you to "do the Spell-check magic"
I have found that after a few years of using auto-correct, that my spelling improved so much, that I don't use it anymore. I would so love to have the latest version of MS Office, as I would love to write much more on this subject, buying a 64 bit computer means the older versions of MS Word no longer worked so I got rid of it. And finances don't exist to buy the latest MS Office. Such is life. :)
Dyslexic Children Are Often Very Creative
Note: (2013) This was written several years ago, for an older version of Microsoft Word, so the instructions for setting up the auto correct maybe different now.
You should be able to find the features I mention, they just might be in different places.
When teaching a child with Dyslexia how to use a computer to write just follow these steps, and you'd be amazed how quickly your child will become a confident writer and child in general.
Make the whole exercise a fun experience for your child. Have them watch the magic of a computer spell-check , write out a paragraph yourself, making some common spelling mistakes, explain You often spell this word a way the computer doesn't like. Spell the words almost correctly, maybe transposing a couple of letters show the child how computer underlines the errors, talk about how magic it is to find the words it doesn't like. (sometimes computers don't like a correctly spelt word)
First copy the wrongly spelt word so you can paste in, then right-click on the spelling error and Word will probably give you a few choices of what the word should be, but choose Auto-Correct then Auto Correct Options, put the incorrect spelling along with the correct spelling in and click ok. Do this with the other spelling errors, and then go back to your paragraph click right after the wrong spelt word and hit the spacebar... and like magic the word with auto correct.
Talk about how cool it is, and try typing the word incorrectly again, magic it fixes itself. You will probably know some of the words your child has a problem with, make sure a couple of those words are in the paragraph you write.
Ask them to write something using the word in a different way. Watch the magic again, get excited with the child.
Avoid saying "you spelt it wrong" just make the computer finding mistakes a fun thing, saying things like, "oh look it's found a new word , come on, let's make the computer change/magic it to one it likes."
Rather than "lets make the computer do it right or fix it"
Depending on the ages of the child, get them to write something to their level perhaps only a sentence, then program the spell-check with anything it finds. Do another sentence and so on, until you have found as many of the words commonly used by the child as possible.
Let your child write something by themselves.
Come back, and do the spell-check/auto correct thing, add the new words they have used to auto-correct. Soon you will only have to check occasionally, or when they ask you to "do the Spell-check magic"
I have found that after a few years of using auto-correct, that my spelling improved so much, that I don't use it anymore. I would so love to have the latest version of MS Office, as I would love to write much more on this subject, buying a 64 bit computer means the older versions of MS Word no longer worked so I got rid of it. And finances don't exist to buy the latest MS Office. Such is life. :)
Sunday 9 June 2013
Peom: A flower blooms
Dark dayz,
Full of tears,
Anger,
Frustration,
Nighmares,
Hell on earth,
Some might say,
Kinda feels like it,
Maybe.
Drag my body,
Wracked with pain,
Outside into the sunshine,
Maybe that will help.
Trip and fall,
Only on grass,
Didn't cause more pain,
And there right in front of my face.
The sweetest, and loveliest little flower.
Growing, where is shouldn't be able to.
I guess no-one told it,
Not to grow.
Or perhaps,
It's whole reason for growing,
Was so it would be there,
For me to see today,
Laying on the ground,
Withered body and legs,
Suddenly the world,
Didn't seem so dark.
Alembe
Poem: War and Peace
War and Peace.
Lost and alone,
feel like giving up,
won't thou,
cause that would mean,
she wins.
She can do her worst,
Kick me where it hurts,
hurt me anyway she wishes,
I can't stop her,
Yet......
But, I can use,
what little energy I have,
to make it thru,
one day,
and then the next,
and the one after,
I won't let her win,
that one last battle.
Cause in the end,
I will win, the war.
I will let her think she's won,
Let her feel smug,
Let down her defences,
Maybe even forget I exist,
Then....
I will be like the phoenix,
and rise from the ashes,
when she least expects it,
showing everyone,
How strong and beautiful,
I really am.
Lost and alone,
feel like giving up,
won't thou,
cause that would mean,
she wins.
She can do her worst,
Kick me where it hurts,
hurt me anyway she wishes,
I can't stop her,
Yet......
But, I can use,
what little energy I have,
to make it thru,
one day,
and then the next,
and the one after,
I won't let her win,
that one last battle.
Cause in the end,
I will win, the war.
I will let her think she's won,
Let her feel smug,
Let down her defences,
Maybe even forget I exist,
Then....
I will be like the phoenix,
and rise from the ashes,
when she least expects it,
showing everyone,
How strong and beautiful,
I really am.
Saturday 8 June 2013
Family History of a .22 rifle Dad owned
Below is an account of events in our family surrounding a .22 rifle Dad owned,
The .22 Rifle.
I grew up, in what my mothers thinks was a pretty normal rural life, my dad owned a 22 rifle, that thinking about it, had quite a history in our family, the 1st stories I heard about it, happened before i was born, but it's been agreed that they happened.
This gun was used several times to kill sick or injured cows and horses, during those years, and I learned to shoot it when I was about 10 or 11. I remember shooting at rabbits, I don't think I actually got one... And my brothers used it for possum shooting, just normal things to do with a gun right... To give you some prospective, the 1st story happened in about 1961. .. as i said, that .22 rifle had a history...
1. My eldest brother had a pet dog, and fox terrier called Trixie, one day when my brother was about 4, he was over at the yards, watching Dad break in a young horse, Trixie was with my brother, something happened, and Trixie started barking, right when the horse went past, the young horse got a fright and jumped over the fence, ripping it's stomach open, apparently it's intestines came out and dragged on the ground as it ran around the paddock.
Dad was understandably angry, and ran into the house, grabbed the gun, and shot the horse, and then Trixie, right in front of my brother.
2. Moving right along, my second eldest brother Toby, got scared about something when he was 3 or 4 I think, so this would have been 8 ti 20 or so months later, anyway, Toby hid under the house, my dad again got the .22 and shot it under the house to "frighten Toby out"....
3. I was next in the family, when I was 4, Mother and Dad had a massive big fight,(nothing new) mother got us out of bed, and told us. with my younger brother who was 18 months younger than me, to run over to the cowshead and hide.
We did, and listened to them fighting for ages, eventually Dad came over, and brought us back to the house, he was carrying the .22, Once home, he lined us up, and said he was going to shoot us, and asked who wanted to go 1st. Instead of being scared, us older kids started fighting about who was going to go 1st, we all wanted to be the No 1... This stunned Dad, and he lost the urge.
4. When my younger brother was about 4, we were playing with the .22 playing cops and robbers i think, anyway we were taking turns at shooting each other... the safety catch was on, anyway my it was my younger brothers turn, and being little he had trouble picking the whole rifle up, and dropped it on a concert floor, and must have it pointed towards the bed, and he pulled the trigger, and and bloody thing was loaded, and went off, we think, when he dropped it, it must have knocked the safety catch off, no-one was hurt, but hell we got a good hiding ( hit repeatedly) from both our parents for that...
5. 3 years or so later, my second brother was about 11 or 12 at the time i think, decided to shoot himself, no-one was home, and he took the .22 out to the back doorstep, and was finding a way to turn a rifle on himself and pull the trigger, when mother and us kids apparently came home...
6. about a year after that, my Mother planned to shoot Dad, she had all us kids in on it, and we had the .22 loaded, safety off, and hiding between the mattress and the wall, where mother planned to grab it from.
Mother did try to shoot Dad that night, but dad pushed the gun upwards, and the bullet when into the ceiling...
7. Again another 4 or so years later, I planned to shot Dad, cause he wouldn't let me watch a TV program. I waited until he came home from his nightshift job, I aimed it out the window, aimed it at his head, pulled the trigger, but the darn safety button was on, and it just clicked, so the moment passed.
8. You guessed about 4 years after that, my eldest brother took that gun, and used it to hold up the Te Puna Hotel bottle store, he didn't shoot it, but scared the hell out of the woman that was working the bottle store.
I don't remember any other history with that bloody .22 but still 8 traumatic episodes in about 14 years is ... well i don't know what to call it. I guess our lives could have been a lot... different if not for that safety button huh.
These were the only normal/traumatic events in our childhoods, not by any stretch of the imagination, these examples are just to do with that gun.
I wonder what effects those events had on us kids. Any thoughts??
Could this be why I’m a couch serial killer, My eldest brother is said to have told stories of him being a serial killer, maybe ...
All I know, is it seems that its just a darn shame that safety catch was on in the 3th episode, maybe this mess of a story could have ended right there for me.
The .22 Rifle.
I grew up, in what my mothers thinks was a pretty normal rural life, my dad owned a 22 rifle, that thinking about it, had quite a history in our family, the 1st stories I heard about it, happened before i was born, but it's been agreed that they happened.
This gun was used several times to kill sick or injured cows and horses, during those years, and I learned to shoot it when I was about 10 or 11. I remember shooting at rabbits, I don't think I actually got one... And my brothers used it for possum shooting, just normal things to do with a gun right... To give you some prospective, the 1st story happened in about 1961. .. as i said, that .22 rifle had a history...
1. My eldest brother had a pet dog, and fox terrier called Trixie, one day when my brother was about 4, he was over at the yards, watching Dad break in a young horse, Trixie was with my brother, something happened, and Trixie started barking, right when the horse went past, the young horse got a fright and jumped over the fence, ripping it's stomach open, apparently it's intestines came out and dragged on the ground as it ran around the paddock.
Dad was understandably angry, and ran into the house, grabbed the gun, and shot the horse, and then Trixie, right in front of my brother.
2. Moving right along, my second eldest brother Toby, got scared about something when he was 3 or 4 I think, so this would have been 8 ti 20 or so months later, anyway, Toby hid under the house, my dad again got the .22 and shot it under the house to "frighten Toby out"....
3. I was next in the family, when I was 4, Mother and Dad had a massive big fight,(nothing new) mother got us out of bed, and told us. with my younger brother who was 18 months younger than me, to run over to the cowshead and hide.
We did, and listened to them fighting for ages, eventually Dad came over, and brought us back to the house, he was carrying the .22, Once home, he lined us up, and said he was going to shoot us, and asked who wanted to go 1st. Instead of being scared, us older kids started fighting about who was going to go 1st, we all wanted to be the No 1... This stunned Dad, and he lost the urge.
4. When my younger brother was about 4, we were playing with the .22 playing cops and robbers i think, anyway we were taking turns at shooting each other... the safety catch was on, anyway my it was my younger brothers turn, and being little he had trouble picking the whole rifle up, and dropped it on a concert floor, and must have it pointed towards the bed, and he pulled the trigger, and and bloody thing was loaded, and went off, we think, when he dropped it, it must have knocked the safety catch off, no-one was hurt, but hell we got a good hiding ( hit repeatedly) from both our parents for that...
5. 3 years or so later, my second brother was about 11 or 12 at the time i think, decided to shoot himself, no-one was home, and he took the .22 out to the back doorstep, and was finding a way to turn a rifle on himself and pull the trigger, when mother and us kids apparently came home...
6. about a year after that, my Mother planned to shoot Dad, she had all us kids in on it, and we had the .22 loaded, safety off, and hiding between the mattress and the wall, where mother planned to grab it from.
Mother did try to shoot Dad that night, but dad pushed the gun upwards, and the bullet when into the ceiling...
7. Again another 4 or so years later, I planned to shot Dad, cause he wouldn't let me watch a TV program. I waited until he came home from his nightshift job, I aimed it out the window, aimed it at his head, pulled the trigger, but the darn safety button was on, and it just clicked, so the moment passed.
8. You guessed about 4 years after that, my eldest brother took that gun, and used it to hold up the Te Puna Hotel bottle store, he didn't shoot it, but scared the hell out of the woman that was working the bottle store.
I don't remember any other history with that bloody .22 but still 8 traumatic episodes in about 14 years is ... well i don't know what to call it. I guess our lives could have been a lot... different if not for that safety button huh.
These were the only normal/traumatic events in our childhoods, not by any stretch of the imagination, these examples are just to do with that gun.
I wonder what effects those events had on us kids. Any thoughts??
Could this be why I’m a couch serial killer, My eldest brother is said to have told stories of him being a serial killer, maybe ...
All I know, is it seems that its just a darn shame that safety catch was on in the 3th episode, maybe this mess of a story could have ended right there for me.
Saturday 1 June 2013
Poem: Lovin
"I love you" "Me to, you."
a touch on the arm,
a smile,
a grin,
a look,
a knowing grin,
back to making a drink...
a look,
a wee smile,
a wink,
a blush,
back to answering an email,
A ear nibbled,
a grin,
a kiss,
a sigh,
lips touch,
a moan,
reaching out to take you in my arms.
touch,
moan,
caress,
groan,
nibble,
ragged breathe,
kisses,
body arching,
licking,
twitching,
sucking,
losing control,
faster,
eye's starey,
harder,
tensing,
everywhere,
release.
Carassing
carassed.,
Kissing,
kissed,
Loving,
Loved.
Alembe
a touch on the arm,
a smile,
a grin,
a look,
a knowing grin,
back to making a drink...
a look,
a wee smile,
a wink,
a blush,
back to answering an email,
A ear nibbled,
a grin,
a kiss,
a sigh,
lips touch,
a moan,
reaching out to take you in my arms.
touch,
moan,
caress,
groan,
nibble,
ragged breathe,
kisses,
body arching,
licking,
twitching,
sucking,
losing control,
faster,
eye's starey,
harder,
tensing,
everywhere,
release.
Carassing
carassed.,
Kissing,
kissed,
Loving,
Loved.
Alembe
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