Lucy and I

I lived with chronic pain for 20 odd years, I was so crippled up with pain, I couldn't even walk to the letterbox and back. I used a mobility scooter ever time I went outside. My life was waking, getting to the computer, sitting there, usually on facebook, until I went to sleep a couple of days later.
I suffered with nightmares so badly, I had trained myself to only sleep twice a week, generally for 4 hours at a time.

When The Nutters Club 1st moved to Newstalk ZB, I moved radio station with them, and I started listening to several of their shows each week. I've written before about how I was suicidal for several years, and every now and then I would ring the various hosts, when I was particularly bad, and talk about how I had nothing to live for anymore.

I never knew of course, but there was another Nutter her name was Lucy, she lived in the North Island, that also listened to that station most of the time, she heard several of my calls. Both the calls when I talked intelligently on some topic or other, and those calls, when I was I would talk about how I had no family, or friends, no hopes for anything, nothing to live for.

The last time I ever rang The Nutters Club, while suicidal, after my call, Lucy rang the show and asked them to let me know, she had left her phone number, so I rang back, and gave her a call. She must have spoken to me for a couple of hours that first call, then rang me several times over the coming days, then 2 or 3 times a week, once a week, generally on Sunday evening, before the Nutters Club show.

Lucy lives with chronic pain and fatigue, and it was great having someone that "got" what that is like, she also had a physically  abusive childhood, my childhood was filled with sexual abuse and neglect, we'd both recently come out of long term relationships, so we have a lot in common.

There were several occasions when she let me talk my way out of other suicidal nights. The more I talked, the more she listened, and when she knew I was finished, she would talk a little about herself.

Although I always enjoyed her calls, I often felt uneasy between calls, because it always seemed I was taking and she giving, it didn't sit right with me.

Anyway, the months went on, Christmas came and went, and around Feb this year, I came out of the depression I was in, I have written before, about how that happened,

Our phone friendship changed and we started talking about other stuff, vitamins, effects of various medications, making small changes in our diets, various things we had tried over the years, physical and emotional therapy's, various councilors their techniques if they worked or not, something we would try over the coming week.

We both had small voluntary jobs, mine was working on a website for a community group, and through  that job, I moved to the area about an hour from where Lucy lived, the 1st weekend I was there, she borrowed a car, and came to visit me, it was a big deal for her to do that, it was wonderful to met her at last.

As it turned out, that 1st place I went, wasn't suitable for me to live, and I went to stay with some new friends up near Taupo.

By this time, I had my pain controlled well, had stopped taking all the various painkillers, and antidepressants, sleeping pills, side effect meds, etc  etc  etc I was taking, and I was beginning to walk well, I didn't really need my mobility scooter. I started playing with the idea, of giving my scooter to Lucy,

Why not? It would make her life so much easier, I was going to be moving to the country, so the scooter wouldn't be any use there, so next time we talked, I put the idea to her, she was excited, but said she wouldn't just take it, she would loan it, use it, and care for it, she would also apply for her own scooter, and when she got it, would help me sell my one.

Within a month, the scooter was delivered to Lucy, but the 1st week or so she had it, it rained or was cold and windy, finally there was a fine day, and she went out for s a ride. She has a Jack Russell, named Pip,  at 1st Pip didn't like riding on the scooter, but she loved running alone beside.

I spoke to Lucy after her first ride, she was telling me about how much she liked it, how she could do so much more when she got to the shops, how she could bring more than one book home from the library, how she could now do all her grocery shopping at once, and best of all, how she wasn't to any extra pain like she usually was after walking to shops, and then struggling home, carrying whatever she had brought.

She had all sorts of ideas, about future trips she could take, and things she could now do, so many plans and ideas. I'm so glad we were talking on the phone, because I had a grin from ear to ear and was chuckling to myself, and she would have gotten self conscious if she could have seen my face.

Lucy has had the scooter for about a month now, and although she is struggling with a nasty flu, having the scooter has been wonderful for her, and wee Pip, who is now quite happy to sit down near Lucy's feet or on her knee, in between getting off and having a good run. .

About a week ago, I got my 1st mobile phone, so Lucy and I text each day, sometimes just to say Hi, thinking of you, other times, the texts fly back and forwards for a few hours.

I'm so pleased that now our friendship is equal, we both give and take, we each have good days, and encourage each other at times the other needs it. Life is great. :)