Places I have lived part 2

From the shop at Paeroa, we moved to Hikutaia. 

Hikutaia... Hikutaia was about half way between Paeroa and Thames on the main road, it was just a pub on one Corner and a country shop on the other, we lived up the road between them, just renting a farm house, off a bee keeper that lived up there. 

My father started working as a porter or night security at the Thames hospital while we lived there. Something pretty bad looking back happened there, I'm lucky.. well I'll tell you the story, and you decide. 

This was one of the first places we were allowed to watch TV, and I had gotten to love the TV show, The Family, An American Show, about a happy family, where the hugged each other, and no-one got beaten, and the young sister actually liked her older brother. 

It was just about to start one Sunday night, and my father come in and wanted to watch Country Calendar, I had a yelling fit about it, but he won, so I didn't get to see it that night.... I was furious, he went off to work at 10 pm, and I decided i was going to kill him. A slight over reaction... 

I slept in the lounge, which looked out over the the driveway where he would walk when he came home from work, just after 6 am. I went on got the .22 rifle, loaded it, and aimed it out the window, practicing aiming where he would walk. All night I fumed and hated, and thought about things he had done over the years to annoy me, and I was still awake when he got home, I aimed the gun, got him in my sights, and pulled the trigger... and for fuck sakes the the safety catch was on. 

Thinking back, its a wonder I didn't explode with rage. But the moment I had planned had passed, he was out of sight around the back of the house, so I pulled the gun inside, laid it down between the bed and the wall, and eventually went to sleep... next morning I got up and went to work, or school... next afternoon, I got home first and put the gun away. As far as I know, no-one ever knew about that.... 

A month or so later, mother and Dad had a huge fight, and Dad left home for the last time. I had started work by then, and don't remember seeing much of him for years. Next time I think, was when my beloved younger brother was about to go to prison, for a long lag, I'll remember when I get that far with the story. 

My first job, was working in a shoe factory in Paeroa, only two things I remember about that job, was my weeks wages were $42.80, and about the second week I was there, Elvis Presley died... the boss loved him, and was crying for days. 

I worked there for 3 or 4 months, then found a job working on a Pig Farm, up near Helensville, Mother drove me up there for the interview and I stayed. I was only there for a week, which I loved, then the boss said I either started having sex with him, or I was fired. The last thing I wanted to do was go home, so I went back to the house, they went out that night, so I got drunk and went into their medicine cabinet, got out all the pills that sounded like they were not for stomach upsets, or boring stuff, and swallowed all I thought sounded serious one.... they must have been serious ones, because I darn near did it that first time, and the doctor reckons I must have had previous experience... not likely, I just used my brain, something that was for constipation or upset stomach weren't going to be much help were they...  Mother arrived the next day, and took me back to her house.... I found another job a couple of weeks later, on a dairy farm in Reparoa, down between Taupo and Rotorua, a 30 a side herringbone shed,  and about 350 cows.... I was there 2 weeks before the new boss put the same hard word on Me as the pig farmer, I wasn't going to leave again, and another overdose was out of the question, so I just let it happen. I worked there for 3 or so months, was very good friends with the wife, and the oldest daughter, and a shag on the side, at least daily, to the boss. Buy the time I left there, mother had moved again to Netherton, the other side of Paeroa. 

Netherton, I don't remember much from there, mother was house keeping for the houseowner, he was a home kill butcher, he was a dirty old man as well, but he didn't touch me. 

I got drunk for the first time there, totaled me wee self I did. 

I learned to pack meet there, and how to make corned beef and bacon, that's all I remember. 

Hamilton/ Fairfield was the next place Mother moved, and I went with her. She moved quite close to my grand parants, her parents, and used to spend a lot of time helping them out, Pop was blind by then, and she used to do housework for them, and cook a lunch for them on days when meal on wheels didn't deliver. 

Owen was still around, and going to school then, he was always popular, so I started to get to know his friends, a girl he was having sex with was Judy, and we became friends, that friendship lasted about 35 years in all... we'd lose contact as our lives went separate ways, but I would always find her again, and we'd pick up were we left off. I can't say much about what she and I got upto, without incriminating her, we were pretty wild without our parents knowing about it.  

I went to stay with the Reparoa boss for a school holidays, they moved up to South Auckland by them, he was back with his wife, but had sex with me once, which ended up in a pregnancy. I still wasn't 16 yet, 

We moved house again, while I was away, to another part of Hamilton, Five Cross Roads in Claudlands. 

Hamilton/Claudlands I went to stay with family friend on a dairy farm just out of town, while there i was drenching the cows for bloat, and one of the cows with a short stubby horn, swung her head around, and the horn, caught me under the eye, giving me a very impressive black eye. I went to the doctor wondering if I was pregnant, I was, the doctor asked me about the black eye, and he didn't believe me, which was good in a way, because when I asked for an abortion, he got right on it, and had be in hospital within a few days, writing on the form I was in an abusive relationship. 

I had the abortion, without saying anything to mother, but was away from home for a couple of days in Hospital, and the social worker, talked me into telling mother when I went home. I'm pretty sure that was the last time she beat me, I didn't cry, just stood there while she laid into me. Then asked her if she was finished, and went into my room and cried in there alone. 

My eldest brother got into drugs by now, he was living in Tauranga, and he took the .22 rifle, and held up the bottle store at the Te Puna pub, he got a sentence of about 3 years... secretly, I was a happy camper about that... couldn't have happened to a more deserving asshole... 

Otorohanga. I just remembered I did see dad again, he got a job at the piggery, by were we first lived in the Waikato, Owen had left school by then, and we went over there to work, and so did I.... hell, pigs show up in my life alot, it must have been something about drinking off that sow, back when I was 3. 

Dad was working with the wearers and baconers, my brother Owen used to make the food for the they had over 500 sows by then, so there weren't many nights one wasn't giving birth. Sleeping with a sow like in the photo was pretty common they like some company when they are giving birth, 

whole piggery, it was the biggest piggery in the Southern hemisphere by then, and was very impressive. I still liked the farrowing unit the best, and started doing the odd night shift when I sow was due to farrow,

Often 5 or 6 were popping out pork sausages as I used to call them. 

Sometimes i would help Owen with the food, milk tanker loads of whey were delivered each day, thinking about it now,

Owen had a pretty responsible job for a 15 or 16 year old. If he fouled up, he could have killed all the pigs, or made them all very sick at the least.

Anyway, like I said, the whey would come in, he would add sackfuls of nutrients into this massive vat, with the whey, sackfuls of crushed grains, then whatever else was around, I remember once we had a truck and tailor full of 20kg blocks of cheese. I forget what was wrong with then a few had broken bags and had gone moldy, buy I know everyone in the piggery took home a big block to eat.

Owen and I would have big machetes, and cut the plastic wrap off the blocks, cut them into 4 or so pieces, and throw them into this great big old cheese grater. it would do a big wheelbarrow full at a time. We'd tip the grated cheese in with the whey and turn the stirrer on.

Another time there were pellets and pellets of cans of evaporated milk, Owen devised a way of poking holes they the tins, while hold the pellet over the vat, so the milk spilled into the vat.

Owen would make the food, and leave it stirring, then the food would be sucked up into a high pressure hose line, they people in different parts of the piggery would feed their pigs.

Hamilton, back to Hamilton, and I started working at horticultural research station, on the Ohaupo, it was a neat job, we got picked up in the morning, and taken to work in a van, which was right over the other side of Hamilton. The trips to and from work, were as entertaining as work at times. I worked in the blueberry testing area, that was were American blueberry cuttings were brought into the cuttings and grown, then those mother plants propagated, and other hard  and soft wood cuttings taken, and grown. 

The Second generation of plants grown, was planted out on research stations with different soil types, South of Auckland, throughout the Waikato and Bay of Plenty, basically between Taupo and South Auckland. The different cultivars were grown, and crops closely monitored over about 5 years I knew of, just to find the best growing soil for each species. That's where I came on the scene, the studies had almost finished, and now they were propagating cuttings for the first sales to farmers, in that same area as the plants grew. 

So I started caring for the hardwood cuttings, and taking and growing the softwood cuttings, by the THOUSANDS.... then as they rooted, potting them up into larger bags.... So I'm the Nanny of the original blueberries sold in New Zealand. 

Some people don't like boring jobs, the same thing day after day, but I truly think that's their problem, a job is what you make it, I found it interesting to see how they grew, and even if i was just potting, seeing how quick I could pot them up, there was a clock right in front of me, so I could time myself in seconds once I got that fast, how long to remove plants from original pot, and get them into the next side pot, then when I got to quick at that, how fast I could do a tray of them, then how quick I could use 1 whole mix of potting mix. How many plants at one size could be done with that one load of potting me. 

Then because I was going so fast, I got ahead of the workload, so the old woman who was our boss, got me to help cultivate the different Bamboo she had there, and cross pollinate camellias, rhododendrons, azaleas she had growing there. Very interesting work. I worked there for about 9 months, maybe a year. I can't remember why I left, I think mother might have thrown me out of home. 

Himatangi Near Hamilton: So I started getting jobs where I could live in, dairy farms, and housekeeping and childminding for farmers wives generally. One of the first jobs was a woman with two single births toddlers, and twins about 11 months old. I was supposed to help her with the twins at feeding time, and other than that look after the rest of the house, and cook for the husband, grandfarther and farm labourers. 

The twins girls were very cute, but seemed to me to be stunted in their development. They should have been sitting, standing and crawling, almost walking by then, and should be well on there way would verbalizing, and getting close to saying first words. After a few weeks, I could see what the problem was, they weren't being socialized enough, they would come out of their cots, get bathed and fed, and put back in their cots, until the next feed. They kept each other company, never spent any time on the floor, or their brothers never were allowed to play. 

They defiantly had their own twin language, but there mother never spoke to them, just made goo goo noises. 

The mother also feed the girls the exact same thing for each meal everyday, for the months I was there. 

Farex and Watties Tinned Apples Breakfast, Baby Rice and Watties Tinned Apricots tinned food for Lunch, And cooked mashed Potatoe, Carrot and Silverbeet for dinner. Every day for months.

I looked in their Plunket book once, and saw that was the exact menu the plunket nurse had suggested back when they first started solid foods. They were about 16 months old now, so had had the same food every day for about 8 months, they were picky eaters by then, and not growing much. 

I suggested to the mother I make them different vegetables for dinner, Maybe kumara one time instead of potatoes, or add a little bit of meat juice or gravy to the mashed foods, maybe some pumpkin instead of carrot.
She would have none of that, she didn't want them to get allergies she said. 

The twins and other two were left with me one day when they parents went to the airport to pick up visitors, I feed them lunch and dinner.... I shouldn't have done it I guess, but I feed the twins, scrambled eggs for lunch, and different vegetables for dinner, along with some nice gravy I had made for the adults dinner...I also let them feed themselves, they couldn't use a spoon, so I let them use their hands, those poor girls, darn near chewed the their hands off, they were so hungry for different food. 

The mother never found out, and after that she left me with the kids a lot more often, and I would give them different things to taste, I didn't know about food allergies in those days, but they never had any reactions to anything. 

I have often wondered how those girls grew up after I left, they would be mid 30's now. 

Putaruru: Another job I had housekeeping, was for a solo Dad in Putaruru, he had an son about 8 or so. When I visited the house for an interview, was the first time I had experienced Deja Vu. I didn't feel anything driving upto the house, but there had been a recent addition to half of the front of the house. 
But when we went into the front door, and looked down the long hallways, I felt very strongly, I knew that house as a little girl, as the grandmother showed me each room, I knew the shape of the room, where windows and wardrobes would be before she opened each door.  It was spooky in one way, but nice in another way. When we got to the back of the house, looking at the back garden through the kitchen window, again, I knew the old tree's out there, they were much bigger, but a couple of the old oak trees were very old, and even had the marks on the bark of branches, showing the damage done from old swings, exactly were the swings I remembered where. UNtil I saw those tree's I had convinced myself, the house was just built to the same plan, but down Southern Hawkes Bay somewhere.... 
I enjoyed that job very much. It was a big old house, but I found it easy to keep clean and tidy. The Father and Son and the male boarder, had lived alone for quite a long time, so having someone to cook good old fashioned healthy meals was a real treat, and they were always complimenting my cooking skills. 
I was there several months, and joined the local theater group, and worked in the wardrobe part, changing costumes, adding accessories, and and tailoring them to fit, whoever was wearing them. They were a great bunch of people, always laughing and having a good time, and of course being overly dramatic in any conversation they had. 
They were working on a production, I think it was called vaudeville, mainly singing and dancing, two songs I still remember where, "I've go a lovely bunch of coconuts" and I'll have to go to google, and see if can guess the word I want in the other title. Wait right here. I'll be back soon hopefully, maybe you could go grab a drink, or have a toilet break while you are wait.... 
Oh that was quick only just over a minute, I guess if you took a break, I have to wait for you to bet back now.... do do do da de da da.... ;)
Ok, google got it in the first try, I searched for... Old vaudville Song title, "the biggest aspadestra in the world" and straight away it worked it out....
Old vaudeville Song title, the biggest aspidistra in the world"

Google is such a helpful program or page for people that don't spell too well, I just love it... 

Anyway, those where the two songs I still remember, I used to know all the words back then. Once the costumes were all altered and looking perfect, my job with the company changed to dresser, and helping with costume changes.... As I said, it was so much fun being around those people, they would drink loads of wine, before, during and after each rehearsal, and of course when the show was actually being played in front of an audience most of them were... pretty bloody tipsy, to put it nicely by half time. 

I was about 17 or 18 by then, and got my first education of drinking nightly while the show was playing.... 

Funny I hadn't thought of that house, job or that group in years, before I just wrote about it. Good times. In later years when I first had my two children, I often planned to get into the theater again, when my children were older, but it wasn't to be. 

A family friend at that job, was a lovely guy with Downs Syndrome, I had never spent any time with someone with that condition before, and had always been a bit scared of them. Actually thinking back, I'm not sure he did have that, I don't remember the facial features of someone with Downs, whatever it didn't matter what he had, in those days he was just called retarded. 

Anyway, he was the loveliest guy, like a big child. He would happily help me with anything he could, and had a keen childlike sense of humour, he'd follow me around, and talk to me for hours and hours, he was a lot of fun. 

The solo Dad I was working with, had his girlfriend move in, she was lovely too, but I sensed it was time to move on. 

I'm a little hazy about where I went to after there, back to Hamilton I think, probably back with mother, until I found a new job. Oh yes, that's right, yes I did go back to Hamilton, I got a job commercial cleaning, first at a squash and sports club, and then a second job cleaning a boys school, up near the Waikato University, St, something or other I believe. 
My eldest brother came home on pre-release weekend leave from prison, something not good happened on that weekend home, and knowing he would be home for good again, in a couple of months, and it would all start again, I worked hard at those two jobs, and saved enough money to go to Brisbane, in Queensland, Australia. A week before he was due to come home, I flew out to Aussie. 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Places I have lived part 3

Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. I was only in this place a few weeks, I most remember getting legless drunk, on Bunderberg Gold Rum.  and I got a job in Alpha, a small one horse, pub on every corner town, more or less half way between Rockhampton and Mount Isa.

Alpha, Queensland, Australia. Getting there... Back in those days, the employment services in Australia would pay for your train ticket to get to a new job. I had been hired on a single phone interview. So I got my train tickets, and set off for a place that wasn't  

even on the map, I had looked at. I just checked google, Brisbane to Rockhampton, is 639km (400 miles) North up the coast, then this Alpha place was 439km's(270 miles) inland from Rockhampton. 

Hang on, I'll go make a google map, to show you where it is. ok, you see it now, that grey route was 4 minute faster traveling by road :)

Ok, so I boarded the train in Brisbane, in the morning, a slow old train, that took most of the day to get upto Rockhampton. Then we had to wait until about 23 hours until 11pm, and head inland. 

The train inland only traveled 3 days a week, and the train from Brisbane or probably Sydney, arrived an just before the inland train departed, so someone like me, has to catch the northern train the night before, in case it was late arriving, which meant you would have to wait 2-3 days for the next one. 

While at the 24 hour railway bar waiting for the inland train, I met and talked to loads of different people waiting for various trains, about an hour before the inland train departed I met a couple of drovers, Aussies version of cowboys. They were taking cattle from the saleyard, back to mount Isa. The inland train only had about 2 or 3 carriages for people, the rest of that very long train was cattle carriages. 

So the train trip inland was a very slow one, with all these beef cows, replacement stock I expect, generally cows were just taken to the saleyards in Rockhapton (Rocky), and went from there to the meatworks. 

My dad, used to drove cattle just like a cowboy, on a horse, into Rockhampton, about 30 years before... but thats his story, he never got to tell.... 

Anyway, these two cowboys I met, were hard men, probably in the 30's or 40's they worked hard and drank hard. But ok guys. But I was a young girl, I must have been 18 or so by then, and my interest in Australia and everything about anything, it seemed like I was flirting, so they brought me alcohol, and they took total advantage of. 

Each time the train stopped along the way, they would go out, and check the cattle, make sure they were all standing up, those cattle were packed in pretty tight, so the rock didn't make them lose their balance, if a cow laid or fell down on the traintrip, they would get crushed underfoot of the other cattle, so there really wasn't anything the drovers could do once a cow was down, if it was was on its knees, hit it as hard as the could, hoping it would stand up, if it was right down, keep a tally of how many were, or were as good as dead. It was 4 down the last time I remember hearing.... I did sleep about the last 2 hours, but still i was still pretty drunk when I got off the train, with my backpack of worldy goods. My new boss a woman in her 60's was there to meet the train, it was just before dawn, and I got a lecture, that if I was going to be drinking, I could have a couple of stubbies at home, of an evening, but if I was going to be "pisshead" and go trolloping into town, I could take the next train back to Rockhampton. It took a bit of convincing, that I didn't drink much really, and it had just been the long wait in Rocky, with nothing else to do. 

Alpha, Queensland, Australia. The job I had gone to was working housekeeping in a sawmill, the mill was on the only hill in town,

and it looked down over the whole town... when I say whole town, it was a small town, one petrol station, one general store, and about 5 pubs, including the golf club, population of about 350. I just checked in google, they have had a population explosion in the past 35 years, there are 405 people there now, obviously that only if everyone is in town for the Rodeo or something. 

Cooking meals didn't work out for me, the old girl was a chef in her day, and cooked everything using wine, and all meals seemed to have a flash name. So I started working in the mill itself, as a tally girl and stacker, and cutting firewood when the off-cuts piled up to much. It was hot, heavy work, and of course noisy as heck, but I was young, and used to hard work, so I fit in well, there were only 2 men, the old girl and me working there, and I sure as hell earned my wages. 

I also helped out with growing the vegetable garden. Water was in short supple there, and although they had a swimming pool at the house, I don't remember anyone swimming in it. It was kept full, in cause there was a fire in town, or in the country, so the trucks and helicopters could come up and take the water. 

Water for the garden, was water saved from taking a bath, which everyone shared once a week, and the washing machine. 

About two weeks after i arrived, the rodeo was happening in town, I was allowed to go into town the night before for the knees up (excuse to get drunk and dance) 

I met a young local lad there, we had a good night together, and ended up sleeping with him, he lived upstairs at the pub. He invited me to the Rodeo the next day, and I happily went with him. Being a local lad, everyone knew him, and was talking about us getting married, I was horrified especially when he was agreeing with them. 

His brother was riding bulls in the rodeo, the 3rd bull he road fell and rolled over on top of him, giving him a darn good kicking when he laid there, ance the bull got up, the clowns came running in and distracted the bull,  I thought it was a nasty accident, it was just part of the cause to him, yes he was winded, and he stood up looking very stiff and sure, but he walked off the ring, to be checked over my the ambulance team there.

He had a nasty hoof print bruise on his forehead, when I saw him later, and he was groggy, but proud of the impressive bruises, he stripped off his shirt and showed the ones on his chest and back. The bull was like the one in the picture, except it also had big horns. 

Anyway, the rodeo carried on, and the marriage plans were well underway, the woman were even planning dates and talking about what they would wear... 

Gawd love a duck, Shane was ok, but no way I was going to get caught up in getting married.... but I was too shy to say anything, I pretending to get a headache, and he dropped me off at home, before the heavy drinking started. Australians will drink for any reason, but a rodeo was the best reason all year. Once home, I started thinking how I was going to tell Shane I didn't want to see him anymore, and by morning, I was clear what I was going to say. Shane pulled up in his car about 8am, so drunk he couldn't walk, hell he couldn't even get the door open to get out of the car. 

He could barely talk, and as raving on about an accident and his brother, I thought he was talking about the accident at the rodeo, I went inside for something, and my boss told me she had just had a phone call, Shane's brother had had a car accident and had been killed, he had hit a pig, that went under the front wheel, the car flipped, and somehow he came out of the car, which landed on its roof, with his head between the roof and the ground....  

I didn't have the heart to tell him, I wasn't interested in him, we ended up being together for several months, 

I went out to the property Shane's family owned this first time, that was an experience, the property was very large, I can't remember how large now, but they only had an outside boundary fence and a fence around the house, driving there, there were cattle stops every now and then on the road, with a fence running off each side into the trees, that was the boundary between properties.... The rest was just gum tree's and ant hills, no grass to speak off, amazing how the cattle grew so big, there were very low stock units on the farm though, there had to be. 

The homestead was something to see, this big old house, that hadn't been painted for many many years, and right around the outside walls of the house were about 12 foot wide covered veranda's, people used to sleep on them in the summer. 

We had lunch, of corned beef sandwiches, and the corned beef was in great big slabs, just as they were originally cut off the beef, they must have had big pots to cook it in.... once cooked it was just left in this safe, no way they would waste fridge space putting it in the fridge.... I figured, well I guess that's why salted meat was first invented, so you didn't need to refrigerate. But still I imagined it would taste bad, but it was very good.... 

They had a massive big Mulberry tree there, I had never seen one before, and couldn't believe that berries actually grew on trees. As soon as I tasted them, I knew I loved them, gosh they were delicious. I climbed the tree, and picked loads of them, that was the second visit, and helped Shane's mother make pies, james and other food with them.

Shane's mother was a hard old thing, she had to be, she had a few grown sons, the husband had left years before, so she had reared them on her own, it would have been a life that hardened anyone up. Shane was a talented mechanic of the family, keeping the various farm trucks working, She taught me to was mechanic's clothes with a cup of kerosene it would get the grease and oil out of them. And to tip a cup of kerosene on puddles of water, around the house, to kill the mosquito's. I never thought about it until now, but she taught me how to make my first healing cream. Fat of beef and pork, was kerosene mixed with it, you could use it for anything, and we made it up in empty 5 gallon kerosene tins, it was great for saddle sores, and cuts on horses she said, it kept out the flies, and when the wound healed, the hair that grew back would be the horses colour, and not the usual white hair. I have never used it for that, I have offered to make it for people with horses since, but the owners always preferred to use creams they got from the vets. They also used it on any other wounds  either people or animals got, and I've used it a few times over the years, for various animals I have had. It is very good stuff.... its pretty amazing, I would have thought kerosene would sting, but it doesn't at all, even if you tip it on a wound straight.
Years later I talked to my Dad about kerosene salve, he said he used it a lot, and kerosene was also good to wash dogs and cats in, to get rid of fleas and ticks. and to heal his own wounds. 

Shane got a job at German Creek Mines, just out of a town called Emerald, about half way back to Rockhampton

So we moved down there and lived together for a while. 

German Creek/Emerald... Shane and I moved to Emerald, We lived with his father and new wife, Shane worked at the Mine, a coal mine, I worked at the hospital, in the laundry, although my job was patching up sheets and clothing on the sewing machine. I didn't know anything much about sewing, I could thread a home machine, and sew a straight line, but this was an industrial machine, so I faked it, and said it was different threading to the last one I'd used, so the boss threaded it, and then I said I was nervous to sew in front of her, so she went away and left me too it... Industrial machines are a lot faster than a home sewing machines, and very easy to run your finger over, or for the machine to get away from you. It was run using a treadle electric motor. I stitched my finger up a the first time I used it, but you either learn quickly to use that treadle or you do a lot of bleeding, and pulling needle and thread out of your finger. It was a good job, I worked alone, and the money was surprisingly good, it had been a while since I worked for proper wages, rather than for housekeeping, with free board and a small allowance. 

I had fun there, Shane was a heavy drinker, so would go to the pub after worker, and I would go too, the pubs were very big, and in a mining town, had about 300 guys to each unmarried female. 
I have always liked being guys, not because of sex, that was a necessary evil, as far as I was concerned, but I preferred male company, they talked about different stuff to females, I liked motors, and building and fixing stuff, and generally being outdoors, I was never interested in make-up or flash clothes and defiantly not shoes. I should have got a hint for my later life then, but I missed it completely. 

There was a big lake near Emerald, Lake Maraboon, so google just said now, it seemed everyone went out there to drink beer, and watch the waterskiing every weekend, the said it was a picnic, but I never saw food out there... just a different place to get drunk. I liked watching the water skiing, they did a lot of barefoot skiing, one day, this poor bugger fell, and got dragged alone, going extremely fast, when he hit the water, his body just I dunno, exploded, killed instantly, and blood everywhere.... horrible thing to see.... 

Not long after that, Shane and I had a fight, and I went to another pub, and meet this guy Mac. Mac took me out to dinner, and brought me a fancy meal, afterwards, he asked me to go back and live with me near Rockhampton, a place called Keppel Sands.

Still angry with Shane, and yes i was flattered at the attention, so I said, yes sure, and we went to pick up my stuff, and left the next morning.... 

Keppel Sands. On the drive back to Rockhampton, we talked, as you do on a long trip. I asked him what sort of work he did. He said nothing much since he had been realised from Prison a month before. So the next obvious question was how long were you in for, and what did you do.... ? He said, he'd bean in jail for 15 years I think, and he's accidentally killed his wife, in a car accident. Then explained how he was drunk, was driving, and feel asleep, and when he woke up, his son was trying to wake up his mothers and was all smashed up laying next to him, and he wasn't harmed at all... I thought it was a long sentence for manslaughter, but I didn't know know anything about laws and such, so just accepted it. 

We lived with his mother at Keppel Sands., a pretty coastal town, over looking Great Keppel Island.. Him mother was in a wheelchair, she had lost a leg in a car accident many years before, the car had rolled, she was pinned in the car, with battery acid leaking on her leg. She was also a heavy drinker, and load and obnoxious to go with it. I never liked her much, The first day we arrived, I went to unpack my few things, I came back out to ask where the toilet was, and heard her asking Mac, if he had told me how he's murdered his wife, then raved on about she had to clean up that mess, after he was arrested.... I assumed she meant dealing with a smashed up car, insurances, funeral etc... I crept away, and came back calling out to Mac, asking about the toilet, and nothing more was ever said. 

I lived with Mac for a couple of months, maybe 6 months, I know I was with him when I had my 19th birthday. He used to got into Rockhampton to a single mothers place, and drink with them quite often... the mother had 3 teenage girls, the oldest one's name was Jay, I always thought that was a pretty name, and thought I would name my first baby that.... one day we were in there, and Mac got particularly drunk and fell asleep, a very deep sleep, he wasn't waking from for awhile, The Mother asked me if i wanted to go for a drive, sje wanted to talk tome, so we went out.... 

When you tell a lie, keep as much of it true as you can... She asked me if I knew about why Mac had been in prison, and I said yes, because of his wife dying and the car accident... well there was a very different story, the same elements with a few more things added. She was only telling me for my own safely, and because I wasn't much older than Jay. 

It seems, they lived in a caravan, Mac was very drunk, and drove home, and wanted sex with his wife, she was in bed asleep and not interested, so he went out and got an iron bar, smashed her to bits, then had what he wanted with her body, then rolled over and went to sleep beside her. He was woken the next morning by their son, trying to wake up his mothers bloody broken body. 

I was a pretty resourceful young woman, and general I could just work bad things out quickly, but hell I didn't know what to do with this information, she offered to help me leave him, and I don't remember how it happened now, next thing I remember was Jay's mother dropping me off at a big truck-stop in Rockhampton, the ones the trucks used when traveling north up the Queensland coast heading up Townsville way. 

The plan was to catch a ride, and try to find a job in any truckstop we stopped at, the first one as Kunwarara Truckstop, and I got a job. 
I bounced back, and don't remember every speaking about Mac ever since, possible to a shrink at some stage, but I don't think so, it was just best it was forgotten about. (Though I never did forget)


Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Rockhampton

Brisbane

Hamilton

Morrinsville

Waipu

Whangarei

Auckland

Morinsville

Albany

Centerpoint

Commune

Hamilton

Australia - Blue Mountains approx 1989

Morinsville

Hamilton 

Riverton

Thornbury

Invercargill

Ohia

Invercargill

Christchurch

Shannon

Levin x 2

Himatangi

Ohia

Invergargill 2

Christchurch Novemeber 2002 

2 tauranga, 

2 places in san diego Nov 2008 May 2011

palmerston north, 

christchurch 2011 until 2014

Update. 

Levin 10 days

Taumarunui 2 weeks

Raetihi, been here 10 days, will stay for years and years

Places I have lived part 4

13486 Words to start

Kunwarara Truckstop:

The truck stop was hard work, but a hell of a lot of fun. I worked 12 hours shifts, by myself, from 6pm til 6am.

The was a cb radio, that the truckers would ring though on, 15 minutes r so away, and place their order, often they would eat, have a beer or 2, then go sleep in their trucks, they all had sleeper cabs. One of the staunch rules was no sex with the drivers, but unless you did it on your off shift hours there was no time to anyway.

So with the no sex rule, I was in my element, surrounded by guys, them all trying to get my attention, and me being a kiwi, it meant a hell of a lot of jokes about Kiwi's and bloody Aussies. It got known pretty quick that I was working there, the pretty young kiwi girl, that was good for a laugh, I would get calls on the CB checking if I was working.

Around 11 at night, the meals would slow down to maybe 1 or 2 an hour, trucks were coming and going all night, we sold petrol or diesel I guess, so I would have to go out and record that, but other than that, once the kitchen was clean, I could go out and keep the guys company, the sitting area could easily seat about 20 guys on one long table, and a few one set tables down the other end.

I would have the kitchen cleaned up quick smart, and several times the drivers would come in and help me cook and clean, just so I could go out in the front of the shop and spend time with them all.... I had lovely legs, and used to do a lot of very sensual dancing out there. I did keep my clothes on, but my skirt or sarong was often ticked up in my knickers. And many nights I would get picked up and lifted on the main table to do a table dance.... I learnt that truck drivers, while often short, were darn strong.

Seems funny now, thinking how I used to move, and do such crazy stuff... when now, walking a few steps is such a chore.

I would often be dragged onto someones knee and pawed, or my bum played with, fingers run through my long hair, kissed, and told some of the filthiest jokes.  I always blushed with any mention of anything sexual, so of course, that just egged the guys on, it was just part of the fun, now it would be called sexual harassment.

There was one guy, that used to do a short run from Mackay to Rocky twice a week. So I got to know him well, he was to become very important to me later on, yet I can't remember his name now... maybe I will remember as I write, anyway, he would come in regularly twice going each way, he's have a laugh, but was very fond of his wife so didn't take it as far as the others did. Anyway, this night he rang in with the his order, and it was two meals, I was in a fun mood, so said over the CB, so who is the hitch-hiker you have today, those pretty French girls you had on Monday coming for another trip, they were lovely... and the cb went dead.... 10 minutes later he pulls up, I get the meals ready for him at the counter, he walked in with a scowl his face, with a very angry looking woman behind him..... turns out she was his wife.... I apologized, and assured her he never brought anyone in, blah blah blah... very awkward time lol.....

good times

I've been racking my brain trying to think of good or fun things that happen when I was a kid.
I'm sure I'll think of something sooner or later, I don't have any memories of good events is such, mother was big on birthdays, and used to always put me on a diet about a week before my birthday, so there was no cake or anything, I don't particularly remember my brothers having birthday parties either, but they were allowed to go out and be with their mates, whereas I wasn't.

I remember when I was about seven, my mother telling somebody, that I was always smiling and happy, and I guess to look at me, maybe at it seem that way. I'd know I would find myself smiling a lot, when I could go next door or over the back fence, and play with the little kids, I was have enjoyed being around children, if left to my own devices. With very small children like three or four years old, I really enjoy their honesty, before they learn that is things you should say to people.

I remember when my son was four, him and I used to go everywhere together, often walking. And he saw a guy in a wheelchair, he asked me why he was like that, I said I didn't know, why don't you go and ask him, so he trotted off went up to this guy, and asked him was that like baby stroller was, and was he too lazy to walk ..... I ended up at becoming good friends with a guy for a while.

When I was 12. I did go to a birthday party once, that was pretty nice. Just like the birthday parties on TV used to be. You know, pin The tail on the donkey, blind man's buff, postman's knock, and other party games, everyone wearing party hats, candles birthday cake, yummy food, all that sort of thing. That 10 or 12 children I think. see I told you think of something :)

A lot of happy times that I had, or to put it more accurately, the few happy times I can remember looking back were always marred by sad things. Like had little puppy, a Pedigree corgi, in name was Cindy, spending time with her was fun, she died tragically, which was about 18 months old, and I had a horse Tania, I just loved giving her saddled up and going for rides all day Saturday and sometimes all day Sunday, just getting away from the house, dad to had told me he was mine, but he sold her and didn't tell me. I guess I can be pleased that he didn't decide to shoot her, my father had little regard for life of an animal. when they were costing too much to keep, or were not useful, he had no use for them, that's just the way farmers are, I think.

Around the time I turned 13, I got a big crush, teacher, he used to come to the bakery my parents owned, and and talked my dad, I used to sit out a view, looking in a mirror to see Roger McLay, I thought he was just lovely, LOL


I had a pet KuneKune pig once, house trained, and lived inside, I called her Mother Theresa, she was a lovely companion, when I was crippled in bed all the time, she could pick up the remote control for the telly, and my ciggy's and lighter, she loved laying beside me on the bed, and watching Oprah, if she was outside when the music came on for Oprah she would run inside to watch it with me, she hated Ricky Lake that was on afterward.... so did I. At the end of Oprah she would stand up and start looking for the remote to give to me to change channels....
She had a poo place outside, and always used it, and would wait for my daughter to get home from school, to be let outside to "go" in the winter.
She was a fun companion, and I miss her... she would be a lot of fun now I can get up and move sometimes....

Lucy and I

I lived with chronic pain for 20 odd years, I was so crippled up with pain, I couldn't even walk to the letterbox and back. I used a mobility scooter ever time I went outside. My life was waking, getting to the computer, sitting there, usually on facebook, until I went to sleep a couple of days later.
I suffered with nightmares so badly, I had trained myself to only sleep twice a week, generally for 4 hours at a time.

When The Nutters Club 1st moved to Newstalk ZB, I moved radio station with them, and I started listening to several of their shows each week. I've written before about how I was suicidal for several years, and every now and then I would ring the various hosts, when I was particularly bad, and talk about how I had nothing to live for anymore.

I never knew of course, but there was another Nutter her name was Lucy, she lived in the North Island, that also listened to that station most of the time, she heard several of my calls. Both the calls when I talked intelligently on some topic or other, and those calls, when I was I would talk about how I had no family, or friends, no hopes for anything, nothing to live for.

The last time I ever rang The Nutters Club, while suicidal, after my call, Lucy rang the show and asked them to let me know, she had left her phone number, so I rang back, and gave her a call. She must have spoken to me for a couple of hours that first call, then rang me several times over the coming days, then 2 or 3 times a week, once a week, generally on Sunday evening, before the Nutters Club show.

Lucy lives with chronic pain and fatigue, and it was great having someone that "got" what that is like, she also had a physically  abusive childhood, my childhood was filled with sexual abuse and neglect, we'd both recently come out of long term relationships, so we have a lot in common.

There were several occasions when she let me talk my way out of other suicidal nights. The more I talked, the more she listened, and when she knew I was finished, she would talk a little about herself.

Although I always enjoyed her calls, I often felt uneasy between calls, because it always seemed I was taking and she giving, it didn't sit right with me.

Anyway, the months went on, Christmas came and went, and around Feb this year, I came out of the depression I was in, I have written before, about how that happened,

Our phone friendship changed and we started talking about other stuff, vitamins, effects of various medications, making small changes in our diets, various things we had tried over the years, physical and emotional therapy's, various councilors their techniques if they worked or not, something we would try over the coming week.

We both had small voluntary jobs, mine was working on a website for a community group, and through  that job, I moved to the area about an hour from where Lucy lived, the 1st weekend I was there, she borrowed a car, and came to visit me, it was a big deal for her to do that, it was wonderful to met her at last.

As it turned out, that 1st place I went, wasn't suitable for me to live, and I went to stay with some new friends up near Taupo.

By this time, I had my pain controlled well, had stopped taking all the various painkillers, and antidepressants, sleeping pills, side effect meds, etc  etc  etc I was taking, and I was beginning to walk well, I didn't really need my mobility scooter. I started playing with the idea, of giving my scooter to Lucy,

Why not? It would make her life so much easier, I was going to be moving to the country, so the scooter wouldn't be any use there, so next time we talked, I put the idea to her, she was excited, but said she wouldn't just take it, she would loan it, use it, and care for it, she would also apply for her own scooter, and when she got it, would help me sell my one.

Within a month, the scooter was delivered to Lucy, but the 1st week or so she had it, it rained or was cold and windy, finally there was a fine day, and she went out for s a ride. She has a Jack Russell, named Pip,  at 1st Pip didn't like riding on the scooter, but she loved running alone beside.

I spoke to Lucy after her first ride, she was telling me about how much she liked it, how she could do so much more when she got to the shops, how she could bring more than one book home from the library, how she could now do all her grocery shopping at once, and best of all, how she wasn't to any extra pain like she usually was after walking to shops, and then struggling home, carrying whatever she had brought.

She had all sorts of ideas, about future trips she could take, and things she could now do, so many plans and ideas. I'm so glad we were talking on the phone, because I had a grin from ear to ear and was chuckling to myself, and she would have gotten self conscious if she could have seen my face.

Lucy has had the scooter for about a month now, and although she is struggling with a nasty flu, having the scooter has been wonderful for her, and wee Pip, who is now quite happy to sit down near Lucy's feet or on her knee, in between getting off and having a good run. .

About a week ago, I got my 1st mobile phone, so Lucy and I text each day, sometimes just to say Hi, thinking of you, other times, the texts fly back and forwards for a few hours.

I'm so pleased that now our friendship is equal, we both give and take, we each have good days, and encourage each other at times the other needs it. Life is great. :)

Tribute to my Wife

Tribute to Wife, Kym
I first "met" Kym some time around the year 2000.
She was a Californian, born and grew up in San Diego, I was a Kiwi, born and bred here in New Zealand.
I was a tutor, for a graphics program, in a Yahoo group, and she was one of my students. Kym was a very talented artist, but until then had only painted, on canvas. I used to teach the total newbies. And although most people would just follow the tutorials exactly, but Kym always added her own flair to anything she did.
It was my job to help out students to do each tutorial, then check everyone's tutorial and send feedback to each student privately, giving them pointers, or just commenting on their work.
But since Kym always sent in outstanding work, after first two or three lessons I started emailing her asking privately about her very obvious artistic eye.
After a couple of weeks, Telecom had some special that you could ring America and speak up to 6 hours, for something like eight dollars. So I asked if I could ring her, and that first conversation we spoke for the whole six hours. I loved her accent (was't too much like a yank), and she loved my Kiwi one. It was during that first conversation, in fact the first 15 minutes of that conversation, that she worked out that I was dyslexic.
Back in those days, emails that I wrote, hardly ever had words that were over five letters long, because I couldn't spell the words I needed. I would go to all sorts of lenghts to not let people know I was a dummy. But like I said, once Kym heard me speaking, she knew that I spoke clearly, and that my vocabulary was in fact extensive.
Once the call it ended, about two days later, I received an email from her, when she explained what dyslexia was, and sent me a link, to a website about dyslexia, and in particular a list of symptoms of dyslexia, there was a list of about 50 things, and I had 47 of them. LOL
Kym made my dyslexia a challenge, and started searching the Internet for things that could help me, she found a little program that would read the words on a webpage, or any digital file. It had a funny robotic voice, and of course it's pronunciation of some words was humorous.
She also found me a really neat program that I still use now. It was dictionary, thesaurus type program, and although dictionaries aren't a lot of good if you can't spell the word, I could copy and paste words into it, words are found on webpages and it would tell me the meaning of the word, I found that really helpful, I've never been able to understand the pronunciation characters in a dictionary, but that little dictionary has a feature to pronounce words. And of course this thesaurus was really good.
She found me lots of programs over the years, she even got an illegal copy of mircosoft office, and help me said it up so it would auto correct many of my spelling mistakes. I learnt to use all the programs really quickly, I am clever like that, I never use a help file, never found a very helpful, but can nut out how programs work, with ease. I used to download programs for the one month trial, learn to use them, and not bother with the many more because I had no need for them, I just used like a challenge. Photoshop was the most fun, still love that program.
We quickly became great friends, and would spend hours and hours and hours chatting on MSN live chat, which was sort of like Skype is now, except you didn't have videos, so it was just chatting back and forth using a headset, often times the connection on MSN was better than talking on the telephone. It wasn't the lag the telephone often had.
Back in those days, I was crippled by back pain, and spent my life in a single bed, that bed was straddled by a kitchen table, which had my computer monitor on, while I laid flat and bed, with the keyboard propped on a pillow on my stomach, and the mouse I used on a book that laid beside me.  I was never able to learn touch typing, and even to this day I need to see the letters on the keys when I type.
Anyway, back to Kym, she was looking after her mother at the time, who had some kind of heart disease, so she couldn't talk to me while her mother was awake, but as soon as her mother went to sleep, she would come on the computer, about 6 o'clock my time. And we would speak until midnight, Kym would often go to sleep, with headphones on, so I would listen to her sleep, and carry on with what I was doing. I knew long before I ever met her that she didn't snore LOL.  Sometimes I would just keep talking, and I hear Kym wake up, and she go off-line, and get a couple of hours sleep... in a bed.
Kyms Aunt, was planning a trip to Australia, but changed it to New Zealand and asked Kym to come along with her. Kym and I knew before that we were destined to be together, so Kym stayed behind, after their 2 week holiday and Akaroa and Christchurch.
We first met in real life on valentines day 2002, we always considered 14 February, our anniversary.  I'll never forget waiting at the Christchurch airport, and finally seeing aunty and Kym come down the escalator, the laughter, the tears of joy, the hugs, more laughter or tears.

Right from the first day, Kym started doing acupressure and massage on my back, and got me up and moving around, I was slow, and the pain was still there a lot, but not nearly as bad as it had been. We began going for walks, firstly just a few steps, and adding one step each time we walked.
I lived in Invercargill, so after dropping Aunty at the airport, Kym and I drove back to Invercargill. We both had digital cameras, and Kym was so blown away with the scenery New Zealand, so we arrived home with memory cards full, of photos were taken on our two megapixel cameras.
The first day, Kym saw the set up, I used to use a computer, she decided she would go out and buy me a La-Z-Boy chair, so I could sit reclined, rather than laying in bed.
We had to share a computer for about two months before her one arrived from the states. We didn't really use the computer very much, we didn't need to, we were together.
We took an awful lot of photos, in those first7 weeks she was here, we travelled day trips all-around Southland, taking photos.
Then on April 1 disaster struck, my computer had a virus, I didn't know about, I turned my computer on, or went to turn it on, on April Fools' Day, and there was nothing there, the harddrive was totally wiped.
We were gutted, I didn't know how to reformate in those days, so we dropped the computer off at the computer fixit place, they confirmed everything was gone.
We went home in shock, leaving the computer to be refornatted. Drinking a coffee, and having a cigarette or 6, wondering how it happened, and me crying over all those photos gone. I looked outside at the sky, it was a beautiful photo taking day, so I said "stuff it, lets go get some new photos. "
We went out to small beach cove called Cosy Nook, arrived later that day, and got a few photos, then I could see the sunset, was going to be gorgeous, so we filled our cameras memory cards.
We picked up the reformatted computer, on the way home, got home and downloaded the photos, they were some of the prettiest photos I've ever taken before or since. I don't have any those photos or many photos that we took over the coming years, at one stage did a rough count, we had upwards of 65,000 photos, of various parts of the South Island of New Zealand.  We only ever kept the best ones, so goodness knows how many hundreds of thousands of photos we took together.
Time moved on, and the time that Kym could stay in New Zealand, legally, was almost at an end. She started the immigration process, but there was a stumbling block, although Kym was over 50 then, she had been naughty, okay done some really bad things when she was young, and spent time in prison, and of course immigration wanted a police/FBI record.
After a lot of buggering around, Kyms file from the FBI and police arrived, I only checked the 1st couple of pages, I knew about what was there, and didn't bother to read the other 50 or so pages, it was obvious she was never going to be allowed to stay here permanently. So we spent the evening tearing up and burning all these pages, and she stayed here illegally the next eight or nine years. So much for, you do the crime, and you do the time, and get to live life again.
We moved to Christchurch, a couple of weeks after that, I had taught Kym to hand code websites, which means build websites without using a program.
And she being a graphic artist now, started to build the odd website.
As I said before, we had a lot of very nice photos of New Zealand, so I built a website displaying, the photos, which became a stock photo bank.  We had 40 photographers from around the world, and about 60,000 photos at the end, we didn't have a lot of sales, we just didn't have the money for advertising.



We had the stock photo bank, for about five years, I was always a people person, and Kym kept adding to the website.
As we could, we kept going on photo trips, and taking more photos.
Then, I started having seizures, and an MRI scan showed that I was developing some mysterious illness, which was showing as tiny white mushrooms growing on the top of my brain stem, and my brain was developing mysterious dead spots, not big spots only about the size of a pinhead, but there were a lot of them, and hell of a lot, so not wanting to tell anyone, we just said i had a heart attack, and we closed the stock photo bank, and concentrated on building websites.
Another couple of years past, and Kym's cousin back in San Diego became very ill, and Kym decided she would go back and take care of him, she was to go back and find an apartment and I was to sell up everything we had in Tauranga, follow in a couple of months.
I arrived in the USA a couple of months, before Pres Obama was elected for the first time. Kym married me, the first week I was there. Yet I don't remember the date, as I said, our anniversary was always Valentine's Day February 14.
I was, quite a hit in the states, everybody loved my accent, and my bubbly, honest if not naive, delightful personality and I think every job interview went to, we got the contract to build their website, and would do the website, and I would make that website, very easy findable and Google. A skill called Search Engine Optimisation SEO.
Most places would advertise search engine results, on the first page of Google, I would offer, and could deliver, the first 9/10 results on page 1 of Google.
After about 2 years, we grew canabis, just because I wanted to, because it was legal there. That was a lot of fun, little did I know that it would be the beginning of the end of my pain, the first time. I was going to a chiropractor, who encouraged me to smoke cannabis, or use it before the appointment, to relax my back so he could adjusted easily. I never liked smoking it, but used to add it to food etc.

Then, and May 2011, we were driving home from the chiropractor and I just said to Kym how my back was feeling so much better, and how I should be going to see him less often.
We stopped at the traffic lights, and will rear-ended by a woman who was talking on her cellphone.
Our car was a write off, her insurance company settled with us, three days later, and seven days after that, a blood clot I'd received and my neck from the accident, broke loose and went up to my brain, and I had a stroke.
The stroke effected my personality drastically, I went from a mild-mannered yet fun loving woman, to an angry, verbally abusive bitch.
A month, after the stroke, I knew that I would not be able to work for a long time, so I got an extension on my credit card, and booked a flight home to New Zealand. It was way too expensive to die in the states.
Kym and I stayed friends for about nine months after I came home, then one day she stopped talking to me.  The last message I ever got, was a couple of days before Valentine's Day. We would have been a couple for 11 years.
It may have be silly of me, but I always expected we get back together one day. But it wasn't to happen. About eight months later, I heard that she developed cancer, then about a year later, I heard she had finished chemo and was doing very well.

Time past, and I was pleased she had moved on, but sad she wouldn't talk to me, actually I was gutted she wouldn't take to me. About 18 months later, out of the blue, about three weeks ago,  Kyms new girlfriend contacted me, and asked me to pray for Kym. She was very ill and had developed several brain tumours. I'm not the praying type. but I sent her a lot of good thoughs.

Over the next week, this woman wrote to me three or four times, telling me how Kym was pretty much a vegetable, she didn't recognise anybody, couldn't speak, but would sometimes smile. It broke my heart, think of Kym like that, we had ups and downs, and the end was messy, but no one deserves that.
I rang Kym's aunt, a week ago today, a Thursday, and she thinking I knew Kym had died a couple of days before, mentioned something about Kym's funeral,  I was gutted, and couldn't speak so ended the call. Kym died, oh Kym, I wish we had at least been friends at the end...

17/7/2014.
I was to travel to Auckland, to be a guest speaker, on a radio show called The Nutters Club and Sunday Night. I cried for a day, and on Friday night made a deal with myself, that I would stop crying until after I got home on Monday, then I would do my grieving.
I have been tearful a couple of times, since been home, her ghost visits when I close my eyes.

3rd April 2015. So many tears in the past 10 months, I think of Kym so so many times a day, often dream of her, I miss her so badly. I know it was years we never spoke before she died, but I always thought, that one day, one day she would forgive me, for whatever it was I did, sometimes i want to know what it was, most of the time, I know it would just be something else to haunt me. .... now of course thats not possible.

Thank you Kym, because of you, I no longer believe I'm dumb, I have seen so many beautiful things in my own country, I've learned so many computer skills, I'm writing at last, and one day, I will publish my story, our story, and now my story of what happened after you. I saw the Grand Canyon, I got to grow marijuana legally, I discovered how to make Marijuana pain gone cream, I took some pretty awesome photos over the years. Best of all I met your Aunt and Lee, I have gotten to know Kasey, very recently, she is a lovely woman isn't she. She has a job where she wears a Tux to work, she said one day she will take a photo of herself, so I can have a look for you. I have seen so many beautiful things through your eyes, Kym, things that would never have looked so lovely, looking at them without you there.
Kasey looking at the photos I have on facebook, Liking and commenting on some, I have got to remember some of the lovely times you and I had.

Adios Kym, I really did love you, I just didn't know how to show you, and was just too screwed up to believe I was lovable.


Anytime you see a reference to this song, or Kym, if I am playing it on youtube, its me feeling this was about you Old Girl

Me a Guest Speaker on The Nutters Club

I'm sitting here, in the motel, winding down after my appearance on "The Nutters Club", what a wonderful experience.

http://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/on-air/nutters-club/lynny-bishop-part-1/
http://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/on-air/nutters-club/lynny-bishop-part-2/

I can't remember what I did or didn't say for the most part, but I'm getting good feedback from private message, so I did good, the producer and I went downstairs for ciggy at the midnight news and she was very supportive, and so were the three guys, Richy Hardcore, Malcolm Falconer and Boris, they made the whole experience fun. I was talking about a bad life, full of sexual abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, phyical abuse and was smiling and very happy telling it. even saying that Kym had died in this past week, didn't bring me to tears.

I'll post links to interview when they are live.

Richie and Malcolm really encouraged me to write about my live, and I will start doing that now, My story is pretty tragic, and what I shared was only the very basics, and of course I missed so much out, two hours talking just wasn't long enough. I think the way I do it, is posts about the various parts, because reading the who;e thing in order would just be too much, and I'll need to take a look at what I have written here, what I have talked about already.

I now have to fill in 5 hours, before I catch a taxi back to the train station to start the homeward journey which will which will take about 6 hours. I'm not looking forward to the homeward trip, coming up tonight was pretty hard on me. I have lost a lot of weight and those seats on the train were bloody hard.

One interesting thing, I have no pain, I should mbe seized up, groveling on the floor, with pain, and although my hip is bothering me some, generally I'm good painwise. I'm starting to yawn, and wondering if I should try to sleep for a while.... so concerned I will sleep in and miss that train.