Places I have lived part 3

Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. I was only in this place a few weeks, I most remember getting legless drunk, on Bunderberg Gold Rum.  and I got a job in Alpha, a small one horse, pub on every corner town, more or less half way between Rockhampton and Mount Isa.

Alpha, Queensland, Australia. Getting there... Back in those days, the employment services in Australia would pay for your train ticket to get to a new job. I had been hired on a single phone interview. So I got my train tickets, and set off for a place that wasn't  

even on the map, I had looked at. I just checked google, Brisbane to Rockhampton, is 639km (400 miles) North up the coast, then this Alpha place was 439km's(270 miles) inland from Rockhampton. 

Hang on, I'll go make a google map, to show you where it is. ok, you see it now, that grey route was 4 minute faster traveling by road :)

Ok, so I boarded the train in Brisbane, in the morning, a slow old train, that took most of the day to get upto Rockhampton. Then we had to wait until about 23 hours until 11pm, and head inland. 

The train inland only traveled 3 days a week, and the train from Brisbane or probably Sydney, arrived an just before the inland train departed, so someone like me, has to catch the northern train the night before, in case it was late arriving, which meant you would have to wait 2-3 days for the next one. 

While at the 24 hour railway bar waiting for the inland train, I met and talked to loads of different people waiting for various trains, about an hour before the inland train departed I met a couple of drovers, Aussies version of cowboys. They were taking cattle from the saleyard, back to mount Isa. The inland train only had about 2 or 3 carriages for people, the rest of that very long train was cattle carriages. 

So the train trip inland was a very slow one, with all these beef cows, replacement stock I expect, generally cows were just taken to the saleyards in Rockhapton (Rocky), and went from there to the meatworks. 

My dad, used to drove cattle just like a cowboy, on a horse, into Rockhampton, about 30 years before... but thats his story, he never got to tell.... 

Anyway, these two cowboys I met, were hard men, probably in the 30's or 40's they worked hard and drank hard. But ok guys. But I was a young girl, I must have been 18 or so by then, and my interest in Australia and everything about anything, it seemed like I was flirting, so they brought me alcohol, and they took total advantage of. 

Each time the train stopped along the way, they would go out, and check the cattle, make sure they were all standing up, those cattle were packed in pretty tight, so the rock didn't make them lose their balance, if a cow laid or fell down on the traintrip, they would get crushed underfoot of the other cattle, so there really wasn't anything the drovers could do once a cow was down, if it was was on its knees, hit it as hard as the could, hoping it would stand up, if it was right down, keep a tally of how many were, or were as good as dead. It was 4 down the last time I remember hearing.... I did sleep about the last 2 hours, but still i was still pretty drunk when I got off the train, with my backpack of worldy goods. My new boss a woman in her 60's was there to meet the train, it was just before dawn, and I got a lecture, that if I was going to be drinking, I could have a couple of stubbies at home, of an evening, but if I was going to be "pisshead" and go trolloping into town, I could take the next train back to Rockhampton. It took a bit of convincing, that I didn't drink much really, and it had just been the long wait in Rocky, with nothing else to do. 

Alpha, Queensland, Australia. The job I had gone to was working housekeeping in a sawmill, the mill was on the only hill in town,

and it looked down over the whole town... when I say whole town, it was a small town, one petrol station, one general store, and about 5 pubs, including the golf club, population of about 350. I just checked in google, they have had a population explosion in the past 35 years, there are 405 people there now, obviously that only if everyone is in town for the Rodeo or something. 

Cooking meals didn't work out for me, the old girl was a chef in her day, and cooked everything using wine, and all meals seemed to have a flash name. So I started working in the mill itself, as a tally girl and stacker, and cutting firewood when the off-cuts piled up to much. It was hot, heavy work, and of course noisy as heck, but I was young, and used to hard work, so I fit in well, there were only 2 men, the old girl and me working there, and I sure as hell earned my wages. 

I also helped out with growing the vegetable garden. Water was in short supple there, and although they had a swimming pool at the house, I don't remember anyone swimming in it. It was kept full, in cause there was a fire in town, or in the country, so the trucks and helicopters could come up and take the water. 

Water for the garden, was water saved from taking a bath, which everyone shared once a week, and the washing machine. 

About two weeks after i arrived, the rodeo was happening in town, I was allowed to go into town the night before for the knees up (excuse to get drunk and dance) 

I met a young local lad there, we had a good night together, and ended up sleeping with him, he lived upstairs at the pub. He invited me to the Rodeo the next day, and I happily went with him. Being a local lad, everyone knew him, and was talking about us getting married, I was horrified especially when he was agreeing with them. 

His brother was riding bulls in the rodeo, the 3rd bull he road fell and rolled over on top of him, giving him a darn good kicking when he laid there, ance the bull got up, the clowns came running in and distracted the bull,  I thought it was a nasty accident, it was just part of the cause to him, yes he was winded, and he stood up looking very stiff and sure, but he walked off the ring, to be checked over my the ambulance team there.

He had a nasty hoof print bruise on his forehead, when I saw him later, and he was groggy, but proud of the impressive bruises, he stripped off his shirt and showed the ones on his chest and back. The bull was like the one in the picture, except it also had big horns. 

Anyway, the rodeo carried on, and the marriage plans were well underway, the woman were even planning dates and talking about what they would wear... 

Gawd love a duck, Shane was ok, but no way I was going to get caught up in getting married.... but I was too shy to say anything, I pretending to get a headache, and he dropped me off at home, before the heavy drinking started. Australians will drink for any reason, but a rodeo was the best reason all year. Once home, I started thinking how I was going to tell Shane I didn't want to see him anymore, and by morning, I was clear what I was going to say. Shane pulled up in his car about 8am, so drunk he couldn't walk, hell he couldn't even get the door open to get out of the car. 

He could barely talk, and as raving on about an accident and his brother, I thought he was talking about the accident at the rodeo, I went inside for something, and my boss told me she had just had a phone call, Shane's brother had had a car accident and had been killed, he had hit a pig, that went under the front wheel, the car flipped, and somehow he came out of the car, which landed on its roof, with his head between the roof and the ground....  

I didn't have the heart to tell him, I wasn't interested in him, we ended up being together for several months, 

I went out to the property Shane's family owned this first time, that was an experience, the property was very large, I can't remember how large now, but they only had an outside boundary fence and a fence around the house, driving there, there were cattle stops every now and then on the road, with a fence running off each side into the trees, that was the boundary between properties.... The rest was just gum tree's and ant hills, no grass to speak off, amazing how the cattle grew so big, there were very low stock units on the farm though, there had to be. 

The homestead was something to see, this big old house, that hadn't been painted for many many years, and right around the outside walls of the house were about 12 foot wide covered veranda's, people used to sleep on them in the summer. 

We had lunch, of corned beef sandwiches, and the corned beef was in great big slabs, just as they were originally cut off the beef, they must have had big pots to cook it in.... once cooked it was just left in this safe, no way they would waste fridge space putting it in the fridge.... I figured, well I guess that's why salted meat was first invented, so you didn't need to refrigerate. But still I imagined it would taste bad, but it was very good.... 

They had a massive big Mulberry tree there, I had never seen one before, and couldn't believe that berries actually grew on trees. As soon as I tasted them, I knew I loved them, gosh they were delicious. I climbed the tree, and picked loads of them, that was the second visit, and helped Shane's mother make pies, james and other food with them.

Shane's mother was a hard old thing, she had to be, she had a few grown sons, the husband had left years before, so she had reared them on her own, it would have been a life that hardened anyone up. Shane was a talented mechanic of the family, keeping the various farm trucks working, She taught me to was mechanic's clothes with a cup of kerosene it would get the grease and oil out of them. And to tip a cup of kerosene on puddles of water, around the house, to kill the mosquito's. I never thought about it until now, but she taught me how to make my first healing cream. Fat of beef and pork, was kerosene mixed with it, you could use it for anything, and we made it up in empty 5 gallon kerosene tins, it was great for saddle sores, and cuts on horses she said, it kept out the flies, and when the wound healed, the hair that grew back would be the horses colour, and not the usual white hair. I have never used it for that, I have offered to make it for people with horses since, but the owners always preferred to use creams they got from the vets. They also used it on any other wounds  either people or animals got, and I've used it a few times over the years, for various animals I have had. It is very good stuff.... its pretty amazing, I would have thought kerosene would sting, but it doesn't at all, even if you tip it on a wound straight.
Years later I talked to my Dad about kerosene salve, he said he used it a lot, and kerosene was also good to wash dogs and cats in, to get rid of fleas and ticks. and to heal his own wounds. 

Shane got a job at German Creek Mines, just out of a town called Emerald, about half way back to Rockhampton

So we moved down there and lived together for a while. 

German Creek/Emerald... Shane and I moved to Emerald, We lived with his father and new wife, Shane worked at the Mine, a coal mine, I worked at the hospital, in the laundry, although my job was patching up sheets and clothing on the sewing machine. I didn't know anything much about sewing, I could thread a home machine, and sew a straight line, but this was an industrial machine, so I faked it, and said it was different threading to the last one I'd used, so the boss threaded it, and then I said I was nervous to sew in front of her, so she went away and left me too it... Industrial machines are a lot faster than a home sewing machines, and very easy to run your finger over, or for the machine to get away from you. It was run using a treadle electric motor. I stitched my finger up a the first time I used it, but you either learn quickly to use that treadle or you do a lot of bleeding, and pulling needle and thread out of your finger. It was a good job, I worked alone, and the money was surprisingly good, it had been a while since I worked for proper wages, rather than for housekeeping, with free board and a small allowance. 

I had fun there, Shane was a heavy drinker, so would go to the pub after worker, and I would go too, the pubs were very big, and in a mining town, had about 300 guys to each unmarried female. 
I have always liked being guys, not because of sex, that was a necessary evil, as far as I was concerned, but I preferred male company, they talked about different stuff to females, I liked motors, and building and fixing stuff, and generally being outdoors, I was never interested in make-up or flash clothes and defiantly not shoes. I should have got a hint for my later life then, but I missed it completely. 

There was a big lake near Emerald, Lake Maraboon, so google just said now, it seemed everyone went out there to drink beer, and watch the waterskiing every weekend, the said it was a picnic, but I never saw food out there... just a different place to get drunk. I liked watching the water skiing, they did a lot of barefoot skiing, one day, this poor bugger fell, and got dragged alone, going extremely fast, when he hit the water, his body just I dunno, exploded, killed instantly, and blood everywhere.... horrible thing to see.... 

Not long after that, Shane and I had a fight, and I went to another pub, and meet this guy Mac. Mac took me out to dinner, and brought me a fancy meal, afterwards, he asked me to go back and live with me near Rockhampton, a place called Keppel Sands.

Still angry with Shane, and yes i was flattered at the attention, so I said, yes sure, and we went to pick up my stuff, and left the next morning.... 

Keppel Sands. On the drive back to Rockhampton, we talked, as you do on a long trip. I asked him what sort of work he did. He said nothing much since he had been realised from Prison a month before. So the next obvious question was how long were you in for, and what did you do.... ? He said, he'd bean in jail for 15 years I think, and he's accidentally killed his wife, in a car accident. Then explained how he was drunk, was driving, and feel asleep, and when he woke up, his son was trying to wake up his mothers and was all smashed up laying next to him, and he wasn't harmed at all... I thought it was a long sentence for manslaughter, but I didn't know know anything about laws and such, so just accepted it. 

We lived with his mother at Keppel Sands., a pretty coastal town, over looking Great Keppel Island.. Him mother was in a wheelchair, she had lost a leg in a car accident many years before, the car had rolled, she was pinned in the car, with battery acid leaking on her leg. She was also a heavy drinker, and load and obnoxious to go with it. I never liked her much, The first day we arrived, I went to unpack my few things, I came back out to ask where the toilet was, and heard her asking Mac, if he had told me how he's murdered his wife, then raved on about she had to clean up that mess, after he was arrested.... I assumed she meant dealing with a smashed up car, insurances, funeral etc... I crept away, and came back calling out to Mac, asking about the toilet, and nothing more was ever said. 

I lived with Mac for a couple of months, maybe 6 months, I know I was with him when I had my 19th birthday. He used to got into Rockhampton to a single mothers place, and drink with them quite often... the mother had 3 teenage girls, the oldest one's name was Jay, I always thought that was a pretty name, and thought I would name my first baby that.... one day we were in there, and Mac got particularly drunk and fell asleep, a very deep sleep, he wasn't waking from for awhile, The Mother asked me if i wanted to go for a drive, sje wanted to talk tome, so we went out.... 

When you tell a lie, keep as much of it true as you can... She asked me if I knew about why Mac had been in prison, and I said yes, because of his wife dying and the car accident... well there was a very different story, the same elements with a few more things added. She was only telling me for my own safely, and because I wasn't much older than Jay. 

It seems, they lived in a caravan, Mac was very drunk, and drove home, and wanted sex with his wife, she was in bed asleep and not interested, so he went out and got an iron bar, smashed her to bits, then had what he wanted with her body, then rolled over and went to sleep beside her. He was woken the next morning by their son, trying to wake up his mothers bloody broken body. 

I was a pretty resourceful young woman, and general I could just work bad things out quickly, but hell I didn't know what to do with this information, she offered to help me leave him, and I don't remember how it happened now, next thing I remember was Jay's mother dropping me off at a big truck-stop in Rockhampton, the ones the trucks used when traveling north up the Queensland coast heading up Townsville way. 

The plan was to catch a ride, and try to find a job in any truckstop we stopped at, the first one as Kunwarara Truckstop, and I got a job. 
I bounced back, and don't remember every speaking about Mac ever since, possible to a shrink at some stage, but I don't think so, it was just best it was forgotten about. (Though I never did forget)


Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Rockhampton

Brisbane

Hamilton

Morrinsville

Waipu

Whangarei

Auckland

Morinsville

Albany

Centerpoint

Commune

Hamilton

Australia - Blue Mountains approx 1989

Morinsville

Hamilton 

Riverton

Thornbury

Invercargill

Ohia

Invercargill

Christchurch

Shannon

Levin x 2

Himatangi

Ohia

Invergargill 2

Christchurch Novemeber 2002 

2 tauranga, 

2 places in san diego Nov 2008 May 2011

palmerston north, 

christchurch 2011 until 2014

Update. 

Levin 10 days

Taumarunui 2 weeks

Raetihi, been here 10 days, will stay for years and years

Places I have lived part 4

13486 Words to start

Kunwarara Truckstop:

The truck stop was hard work, but a hell of a lot of fun. I worked 12 hours shifts, by myself, from 6pm til 6am.

The was a cb radio, that the truckers would ring though on, 15 minutes r so away, and place their order, often they would eat, have a beer or 2, then go sleep in their trucks, they all had sleeper cabs. One of the staunch rules was no sex with the drivers, but unless you did it on your off shift hours there was no time to anyway.

So with the no sex rule, I was in my element, surrounded by guys, them all trying to get my attention, and me being a kiwi, it meant a hell of a lot of jokes about Kiwi's and bloody Aussies. It got known pretty quick that I was working there, the pretty young kiwi girl, that was good for a laugh, I would get calls on the CB checking if I was working.

Around 11 at night, the meals would slow down to maybe 1 or 2 an hour, trucks were coming and going all night, we sold petrol or diesel I guess, so I would have to go out and record that, but other than that, once the kitchen was clean, I could go out and keep the guys company, the sitting area could easily seat about 20 guys on one long table, and a few one set tables down the other end.

I would have the kitchen cleaned up quick smart, and several times the drivers would come in and help me cook and clean, just so I could go out in the front of the shop and spend time with them all.... I had lovely legs, and used to do a lot of very sensual dancing out there. I did keep my clothes on, but my skirt or sarong was often ticked up in my knickers. And many nights I would get picked up and lifted on the main table to do a table dance.... I learnt that truck drivers, while often short, were darn strong.

Seems funny now, thinking how I used to move, and do such crazy stuff... when now, walking a few steps is such a chore.

I would often be dragged onto someones knee and pawed, or my bum played with, fingers run through my long hair, kissed, and told some of the filthiest jokes.  I always blushed with any mention of anything sexual, so of course, that just egged the guys on, it was just part of the fun, now it would be called sexual harassment.

There was one guy, that used to do a short run from Mackay to Rocky twice a week. So I got to know him well, he was to become very important to me later on, yet I can't remember his name now... maybe I will remember as I write, anyway, he would come in regularly twice going each way, he's have a laugh, but was very fond of his wife so didn't take it as far as the others did. Anyway, this night he rang in with the his order, and it was two meals, I was in a fun mood, so said over the CB, so who is the hitch-hiker you have today, those pretty French girls you had on Monday coming for another trip, they were lovely... and the cb went dead.... 10 minutes later he pulls up, I get the meals ready for him at the counter, he walked in with a scowl his face, with a very angry looking woman behind him..... turns out she was his wife.... I apologized, and assured her he never brought anyone in, blah blah blah... very awkward time lol.....

good times

I've been racking my brain trying to think of good or fun things that happen when I was a kid.
I'm sure I'll think of something sooner or later, I don't have any memories of good events is such, mother was big on birthdays, and used to always put me on a diet about a week before my birthday, so there was no cake or anything, I don't particularly remember my brothers having birthday parties either, but they were allowed to go out and be with their mates, whereas I wasn't.

I remember when I was about seven, my mother telling somebody, that I was always smiling and happy, and I guess to look at me, maybe at it seem that way. I'd know I would find myself smiling a lot, when I could go next door or over the back fence, and play with the little kids, I was have enjoyed being around children, if left to my own devices. With very small children like three or four years old, I really enjoy their honesty, before they learn that is things you should say to people.

I remember when my son was four, him and I used to go everywhere together, often walking. And he saw a guy in a wheelchair, he asked me why he was like that, I said I didn't know, why don't you go and ask him, so he trotted off went up to this guy, and asked him was that like baby stroller was, and was he too lazy to walk ..... I ended up at becoming good friends with a guy for a while.

When I was 12. I did go to a birthday party once, that was pretty nice. Just like the birthday parties on TV used to be. You know, pin The tail on the donkey, blind man's buff, postman's knock, and other party games, everyone wearing party hats, candles birthday cake, yummy food, all that sort of thing. That 10 or 12 children I think. see I told you think of something :)

A lot of happy times that I had, or to put it more accurately, the few happy times I can remember looking back were always marred by sad things. Like had little puppy, a Pedigree corgi, in name was Cindy, spending time with her was fun, she died tragically, which was about 18 months old, and I had a horse Tania, I just loved giving her saddled up and going for rides all day Saturday and sometimes all day Sunday, just getting away from the house, dad to had told me he was mine, but he sold her and didn't tell me. I guess I can be pleased that he didn't decide to shoot her, my father had little regard for life of an animal. when they were costing too much to keep, or were not useful, he had no use for them, that's just the way farmers are, I think.

Around the time I turned 13, I got a big crush, teacher, he used to come to the bakery my parents owned, and and talked my dad, I used to sit out a view, looking in a mirror to see Roger McLay, I thought he was just lovely, LOL


I had a pet KuneKune pig once, house trained, and lived inside, I called her Mother Theresa, she was a lovely companion, when I was crippled in bed all the time, she could pick up the remote control for the telly, and my ciggy's and lighter, she loved laying beside me on the bed, and watching Oprah, if she was outside when the music came on for Oprah she would run inside to watch it with me, she hated Ricky Lake that was on afterward.... so did I. At the end of Oprah she would stand up and start looking for the remote to give to me to change channels....
She had a poo place outside, and always used it, and would wait for my daughter to get home from school, to be let outside to "go" in the winter.
She was a fun companion, and I miss her... she would be a lot of fun now I can get up and move sometimes....

Lucy and I

I lived with chronic pain for 20 odd years, I was so crippled up with pain, I couldn't even walk to the letterbox and back. I used a mobility scooter ever time I went outside. My life was waking, getting to the computer, sitting there, usually on facebook, until I went to sleep a couple of days later.
I suffered with nightmares so badly, I had trained myself to only sleep twice a week, generally for 4 hours at a time.

When The Nutters Club 1st moved to Newstalk ZB, I moved radio station with them, and I started listening to several of their shows each week. I've written before about how I was suicidal for several years, and every now and then I would ring the various hosts, when I was particularly bad, and talk about how I had nothing to live for anymore.

I never knew of course, but there was another Nutter her name was Lucy, she lived in the North Island, that also listened to that station most of the time, she heard several of my calls. Both the calls when I talked intelligently on some topic or other, and those calls, when I was I would talk about how I had no family, or friends, no hopes for anything, nothing to live for.

The last time I ever rang The Nutters Club, while suicidal, after my call, Lucy rang the show and asked them to let me know, she had left her phone number, so I rang back, and gave her a call. She must have spoken to me for a couple of hours that first call, then rang me several times over the coming days, then 2 or 3 times a week, once a week, generally on Sunday evening, before the Nutters Club show.

Lucy lives with chronic pain and fatigue, and it was great having someone that "got" what that is like, she also had a physically  abusive childhood, my childhood was filled with sexual abuse and neglect, we'd both recently come out of long term relationships, so we have a lot in common.

There were several occasions when she let me talk my way out of other suicidal nights. The more I talked, the more she listened, and when she knew I was finished, she would talk a little about herself.

Although I always enjoyed her calls, I often felt uneasy between calls, because it always seemed I was taking and she giving, it didn't sit right with me.

Anyway, the months went on, Christmas came and went, and around Feb this year, I came out of the depression I was in, I have written before, about how that happened,

Our phone friendship changed and we started talking about other stuff, vitamins, effects of various medications, making small changes in our diets, various things we had tried over the years, physical and emotional therapy's, various councilors their techniques if they worked or not, something we would try over the coming week.

We both had small voluntary jobs, mine was working on a website for a community group, and through  that job, I moved to the area about an hour from where Lucy lived, the 1st weekend I was there, she borrowed a car, and came to visit me, it was a big deal for her to do that, it was wonderful to met her at last.

As it turned out, that 1st place I went, wasn't suitable for me to live, and I went to stay with some new friends up near Taupo.

By this time, I had my pain controlled well, had stopped taking all the various painkillers, and antidepressants, sleeping pills, side effect meds, etc  etc  etc I was taking, and I was beginning to walk well, I didn't really need my mobility scooter. I started playing with the idea, of giving my scooter to Lucy,

Why not? It would make her life so much easier, I was going to be moving to the country, so the scooter wouldn't be any use there, so next time we talked, I put the idea to her, she was excited, but said she wouldn't just take it, she would loan it, use it, and care for it, she would also apply for her own scooter, and when she got it, would help me sell my one.

Within a month, the scooter was delivered to Lucy, but the 1st week or so she had it, it rained or was cold and windy, finally there was a fine day, and she went out for s a ride. She has a Jack Russell, named Pip,  at 1st Pip didn't like riding on the scooter, but she loved running alone beside.

I spoke to Lucy after her first ride, she was telling me about how much she liked it, how she could do so much more when she got to the shops, how she could bring more than one book home from the library, how she could now do all her grocery shopping at once, and best of all, how she wasn't to any extra pain like she usually was after walking to shops, and then struggling home, carrying whatever she had brought.

She had all sorts of ideas, about future trips she could take, and things she could now do, so many plans and ideas. I'm so glad we were talking on the phone, because I had a grin from ear to ear and was chuckling to myself, and she would have gotten self conscious if she could have seen my face.

Lucy has had the scooter for about a month now, and although she is struggling with a nasty flu, having the scooter has been wonderful for her, and wee Pip, who is now quite happy to sit down near Lucy's feet or on her knee, in between getting off and having a good run. .

About a week ago, I got my 1st mobile phone, so Lucy and I text each day, sometimes just to say Hi, thinking of you, other times, the texts fly back and forwards for a few hours.

I'm so pleased that now our friendship is equal, we both give and take, we each have good days, and encourage each other at times the other needs it. Life is great. :)

Tribute to my Wife

Tribute to Wife, Kym
I first "met" Kym some time around the year 2000.
She was a Californian, born and grew up in San Diego, I was a Kiwi, born and bred here in New Zealand.
I was a tutor, for a graphics program, in a Yahoo group, and she was one of my students. Kym was a very talented artist, but until then had only painted, on canvas. I used to teach the total newbies. And although most people would just follow the tutorials exactly, but Kym always added her own flair to anything she did.
It was my job to help out students to do each tutorial, then check everyone's tutorial and send feedback to each student privately, giving them pointers, or just commenting on their work.
But since Kym always sent in outstanding work, after first two or three lessons I started emailing her asking privately about her very obvious artistic eye.
After a couple of weeks, Telecom had some special that you could ring America and speak up to 6 hours, for something like eight dollars. So I asked if I could ring her, and that first conversation we spoke for the whole six hours. I loved her accent (was't too much like a yank), and she loved my Kiwi one. It was during that first conversation, in fact the first 15 minutes of that conversation, that she worked out that I was dyslexic.
Back in those days, emails that I wrote, hardly ever had words that were over five letters long, because I couldn't spell the words I needed. I would go to all sorts of lenghts to not let people know I was a dummy. But like I said, once Kym heard me speaking, she knew that I spoke clearly, and that my vocabulary was in fact extensive.
Once the call it ended, about two days later, I received an email from her, when she explained what dyslexia was, and sent me a link, to a website about dyslexia, and in particular a list of symptoms of dyslexia, there was a list of about 50 things, and I had 47 of them. LOL
Kym made my dyslexia a challenge, and started searching the Internet for things that could help me, she found a little program that would read the words on a webpage, or any digital file. It had a funny robotic voice, and of course it's pronunciation of some words was humorous.
She also found me a really neat program that I still use now. It was dictionary, thesaurus type program, and although dictionaries aren't a lot of good if you can't spell the word, I could copy and paste words into it, words are found on webpages and it would tell me the meaning of the word, I found that really helpful, I've never been able to understand the pronunciation characters in a dictionary, but that little dictionary has a feature to pronounce words. And of course this thesaurus was really good.
She found me lots of programs over the years, she even got an illegal copy of mircosoft office, and help me said it up so it would auto correct many of my spelling mistakes. I learnt to use all the programs really quickly, I am clever like that, I never use a help file, never found a very helpful, but can nut out how programs work, with ease. I used to download programs for the one month trial, learn to use them, and not bother with the many more because I had no need for them, I just used like a challenge. Photoshop was the most fun, still love that program.
We quickly became great friends, and would spend hours and hours and hours chatting on MSN live chat, which was sort of like Skype is now, except you didn't have videos, so it was just chatting back and forth using a headset, often times the connection on MSN was better than talking on the telephone. It wasn't the lag the telephone often had.
Back in those days, I was crippled by back pain, and spent my life in a single bed, that bed was straddled by a kitchen table, which had my computer monitor on, while I laid flat and bed, with the keyboard propped on a pillow on my stomach, and the mouse I used on a book that laid beside me.  I was never able to learn touch typing, and even to this day I need to see the letters on the keys when I type.
Anyway, back to Kym, she was looking after her mother at the time, who had some kind of heart disease, so she couldn't talk to me while her mother was awake, but as soon as her mother went to sleep, she would come on the computer, about 6 o'clock my time. And we would speak until midnight, Kym would often go to sleep, with headphones on, so I would listen to her sleep, and carry on with what I was doing. I knew long before I ever met her that she didn't snore LOL.  Sometimes I would just keep talking, and I hear Kym wake up, and she go off-line, and get a couple of hours sleep... in a bed.
Kyms Aunt, was planning a trip to Australia, but changed it to New Zealand and asked Kym to come along with her. Kym and I knew before that we were destined to be together, so Kym stayed behind, after their 2 week holiday and Akaroa and Christchurch.
We first met in real life on valentines day 2002, we always considered 14 February, our anniversary.  I'll never forget waiting at the Christchurch airport, and finally seeing aunty and Kym come down the escalator, the laughter, the tears of joy, the hugs, more laughter or tears.

Right from the first day, Kym started doing acupressure and massage on my back, and got me up and moving around, I was slow, and the pain was still there a lot, but not nearly as bad as it had been. We began going for walks, firstly just a few steps, and adding one step each time we walked.
I lived in Invercargill, so after dropping Aunty at the airport, Kym and I drove back to Invercargill. We both had digital cameras, and Kym was so blown away with the scenery New Zealand, so we arrived home with memory cards full, of photos were taken on our two megapixel cameras.
The first day, Kym saw the set up, I used to use a computer, she decided she would go out and buy me a La-Z-Boy chair, so I could sit reclined, rather than laying in bed.
We had to share a computer for about two months before her one arrived from the states. We didn't really use the computer very much, we didn't need to, we were together.
We took an awful lot of photos, in those first7 weeks she was here, we travelled day trips all-around Southland, taking photos.
Then on April 1 disaster struck, my computer had a virus, I didn't know about, I turned my computer on, or went to turn it on, on April Fools' Day, and there was nothing there, the harddrive was totally wiped.
We were gutted, I didn't know how to reformate in those days, so we dropped the computer off at the computer fixit place, they confirmed everything was gone.
We went home in shock, leaving the computer to be refornatted. Drinking a coffee, and having a cigarette or 6, wondering how it happened, and me crying over all those photos gone. I looked outside at the sky, it was a beautiful photo taking day, so I said "stuff it, lets go get some new photos. "
We went out to small beach cove called Cosy Nook, arrived later that day, and got a few photos, then I could see the sunset, was going to be gorgeous, so we filled our cameras memory cards.
We picked up the reformatted computer, on the way home, got home and downloaded the photos, they were some of the prettiest photos I've ever taken before or since. I don't have any those photos or many photos that we took over the coming years, at one stage did a rough count, we had upwards of 65,000 photos, of various parts of the South Island of New Zealand.  We only ever kept the best ones, so goodness knows how many hundreds of thousands of photos we took together.
Time moved on, and the time that Kym could stay in New Zealand, legally, was almost at an end. She started the immigration process, but there was a stumbling block, although Kym was over 50 then, she had been naughty, okay done some really bad things when she was young, and spent time in prison, and of course immigration wanted a police/FBI record.
After a lot of buggering around, Kyms file from the FBI and police arrived, I only checked the 1st couple of pages, I knew about what was there, and didn't bother to read the other 50 or so pages, it was obvious she was never going to be allowed to stay here permanently. So we spent the evening tearing up and burning all these pages, and she stayed here illegally the next eight or nine years. So much for, you do the crime, and you do the time, and get to live life again.
We moved to Christchurch, a couple of weeks after that, I had taught Kym to hand code websites, which means build websites without using a program.
And she being a graphic artist now, started to build the odd website.
As I said before, we had a lot of very nice photos of New Zealand, so I built a website displaying, the photos, which became a stock photo bank.  We had 40 photographers from around the world, and about 60,000 photos at the end, we didn't have a lot of sales, we just didn't have the money for advertising.



We had the stock photo bank, for about five years, I was always a people person, and Kym kept adding to the website.
As we could, we kept going on photo trips, and taking more photos.
Then, I started having seizures, and an MRI scan showed that I was developing some mysterious illness, which was showing as tiny white mushrooms growing on the top of my brain stem, and my brain was developing mysterious dead spots, not big spots only about the size of a pinhead, but there were a lot of them, and hell of a lot, so not wanting to tell anyone, we just said i had a heart attack, and we closed the stock photo bank, and concentrated on building websites.
Another couple of years past, and Kym's cousin back in San Diego became very ill, and Kym decided she would go back and take care of him, she was to go back and find an apartment and I was to sell up everything we had in Tauranga, follow in a couple of months.
I arrived in the USA a couple of months, before Pres Obama was elected for the first time. Kym married me, the first week I was there. Yet I don't remember the date, as I said, our anniversary was always Valentine's Day February 14.
I was, quite a hit in the states, everybody loved my accent, and my bubbly, honest if not naive, delightful personality and I think every job interview went to, we got the contract to build their website, and would do the website, and I would make that website, very easy findable and Google. A skill called Search Engine Optimisation SEO.
Most places would advertise search engine results, on the first page of Google, I would offer, and could deliver, the first 9/10 results on page 1 of Google.
After about 2 years, we grew canabis, just because I wanted to, because it was legal there. That was a lot of fun, little did I know that it would be the beginning of the end of my pain, the first time. I was going to a chiropractor, who encouraged me to smoke cannabis, or use it before the appointment, to relax my back so he could adjusted easily. I never liked smoking it, but used to add it to food etc.

Then, and May 2011, we were driving home from the chiropractor and I just said to Kym how my back was feeling so much better, and how I should be going to see him less often.
We stopped at the traffic lights, and will rear-ended by a woman who was talking on her cellphone.
Our car was a write off, her insurance company settled with us, three days later, and seven days after that, a blood clot I'd received and my neck from the accident, broke loose and went up to my brain, and I had a stroke.
The stroke effected my personality drastically, I went from a mild-mannered yet fun loving woman, to an angry, verbally abusive bitch.
A month, after the stroke, I knew that I would not be able to work for a long time, so I got an extension on my credit card, and booked a flight home to New Zealand. It was way too expensive to die in the states.
Kym and I stayed friends for about nine months after I came home, then one day she stopped talking to me.  The last message I ever got, was a couple of days before Valentine's Day. We would have been a couple for 11 years.
It may have be silly of me, but I always expected we get back together one day. But it wasn't to happen. About eight months later, I heard that she developed cancer, then about a year later, I heard she had finished chemo and was doing very well.

Time past, and I was pleased she had moved on, but sad she wouldn't talk to me, actually I was gutted she wouldn't take to me. About 18 months later, out of the blue, about three weeks ago,  Kyms new girlfriend contacted me, and asked me to pray for Kym. She was very ill and had developed several brain tumours. I'm not the praying type. but I sent her a lot of good thoughs.

Over the next week, this woman wrote to me three or four times, telling me how Kym was pretty much a vegetable, she didn't recognise anybody, couldn't speak, but would sometimes smile. It broke my heart, think of Kym like that, we had ups and downs, and the end was messy, but no one deserves that.
I rang Kym's aunt, a week ago today, a Thursday, and she thinking I knew Kym had died a couple of days before, mentioned something about Kym's funeral,  I was gutted, and couldn't speak so ended the call. Kym died, oh Kym, I wish we had at least been friends at the end...

17/7/2014.
I was to travel to Auckland, to be a guest speaker, on a radio show called The Nutters Club and Sunday Night. I cried for a day, and on Friday night made a deal with myself, that I would stop crying until after I got home on Monday, then I would do my grieving.
I have been tearful a couple of times, since been home, her ghost visits when I close my eyes.

3rd April 2015. So many tears in the past 10 months, I think of Kym so so many times a day, often dream of her, I miss her so badly. I know it was years we never spoke before she died, but I always thought, that one day, one day she would forgive me, for whatever it was I did, sometimes i want to know what it was, most of the time, I know it would just be something else to haunt me. .... now of course thats not possible.

Thank you Kym, because of you, I no longer believe I'm dumb, I have seen so many beautiful things in my own country, I've learned so many computer skills, I'm writing at last, and one day, I will publish my story, our story, and now my story of what happened after you. I saw the Grand Canyon, I got to grow marijuana legally, I discovered how to make Marijuana pain gone cream, I took some pretty awesome photos over the years. Best of all I met your Aunt and Lee, I have gotten to know Kasey, very recently, she is a lovely woman isn't she. She has a job where she wears a Tux to work, she said one day she will take a photo of herself, so I can have a look for you. I have seen so many beautiful things through your eyes, Kym, things that would never have looked so lovely, looking at them without you there.
Kasey looking at the photos I have on facebook, Liking and commenting on some, I have got to remember some of the lovely times you and I had.

Adios Kym, I really did love you, I just didn't know how to show you, and was just too screwed up to believe I was lovable.


Anytime you see a reference to this song, or Kym, if I am playing it on youtube, its me feeling this was about you Old Girl

Me a Guest Speaker on The Nutters Club

I'm sitting here, in the motel, winding down after my appearance on "The Nutters Club", what a wonderful experience.

http://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/on-air/nutters-club/lynny-bishop-part-1/
http://www.newstalkzb.co.nz/on-air/nutters-club/lynny-bishop-part-2/

I can't remember what I did or didn't say for the most part, but I'm getting good feedback from private message, so I did good, the producer and I went downstairs for ciggy at the midnight news and she was very supportive, and so were the three guys, Richy Hardcore, Malcolm Falconer and Boris, they made the whole experience fun. I was talking about a bad life, full of sexual abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, phyical abuse and was smiling and very happy telling it. even saying that Kym had died in this past week, didn't bring me to tears.

I'll post links to interview when they are live.

Richie and Malcolm really encouraged me to write about my live, and I will start doing that now, My story is pretty tragic, and what I shared was only the very basics, and of course I missed so much out, two hours talking just wasn't long enough. I think the way I do it, is posts about the various parts, because reading the who;e thing in order would just be too much, and I'll need to take a look at what I have written here, what I have talked about already.

I now have to fill in 5 hours, before I catch a taxi back to the train station to start the homeward journey which will which will take about 6 hours. I'm not looking forward to the homeward trip, coming up tonight was pretty hard on me. I have lost a lot of weight and those seats on the train were bloody hard.

One interesting thing, I have no pain, I should mbe seized up, groveling on the floor, with pain, and although my hip is bothering me some, generally I'm good painwise. I'm starting to yawn, and wondering if I should try to sleep for a while.... so concerned I will sleep in and miss that train.

Who Knows What Tomorrow Will Bring.

A facebook post to Mike King, telling him the story of my recovery. 

Twenty years ago, I broke my back, and for all of those years, I have been suicidal, I just never wanted to live, or never wanted to wake up.

I used to think, I wish I could find something worth living for, but looking at my life, I could never find anything. I believed at school I was a dummy, and never passed any exam. I found out about 12 years ago, I was just dyslexic, and I was in fact very intelligent, but by then it was too late to go back to school.

I lived with constant pain since that accident, and could never sit in a classroom now, doctors never listened to me, would never give me painkillers that worked for my pain, although I was on over 600 prescription drugs a month, they tried to get me to take anti-depressants, even though I always said and knew they weren't the answer.  My life sucked, and it was never going to get better. I may as well die.

How I stopped taking them all those pills is another story, but in early April this year 2014, I stopped taking all of these pills above
. About a year ago, a charity that is close to my heart won a competition and received the use of a new Toyota car, I started thinking about how much it would cost to fill the gas tank, that lead thinking about maybe I could help fill the tank once. And maybe buy them a feed when they were driving it.

I started giving a small weekly donation to “The Key to Life Charity” its an organisation who Mike King is the front person for, part of the work they do, is “The Nutters Club” radio show on Newstalk ZB on Sunday night from 11pm until 1 am, a talkback show, that looks at Mental Health Issues in NZ, and Mike goes around to schools, talking to parents and students about asking for help, by talking about his life, and how long it took him to ask for help. Suicide prevention, without ever mentioning suicide, Mike said tonight on the show.

I decided that if I was going to die anyway, I may as well give them some money every week, and make sure before I died, I would fill the tank, and buy them a feed once. I lived on the invalids benefit, and was usually broke the day after I received my benefit, but decided, that since I was going to be broke anyway, why not give $5 a week, it really wouldn't make me even more broke, give that 5 bucks to something that may help someone else, it may help a teenager start the conversation that could change their direction in life.

I started noticing that each week, the rest of the money I got as a benefit, seemed to last longer, even though I was giving that donation every week. There was a time, I considered giving 20 a week, thinking I might have money all week.. lol.. 

A couple months later, a friend I met through “The Nutters Club NZ” facebook page, Ashley started fundraising for the Nutter Club, she was going to run in a marathon, and for a start I was down, that I could never do anything like that... but thinking about it more, I thought I could never run, but walking 2 km would be a marathon for me, so I went to the NZ Telecom “Make a Wish” website, and started a campaign with “The Key to Life” as the recipient, I pledged I would walk 2 km's on November 27th.

I managed to raise $160, and mused to myself that, that would be more than a tank of gas, so I would change the goal to two talks of gas, and a flash feed. But I always had to make the next payment before I could end my life.

I was still having down days, and suicidal days, but each time the suicidal thought became overwhelming, I would make that deal with myself, I could not suicide until after the next payment. Then was even a time, I just made a payment, and while doing it, thought, well now I can suicide, but remembered the deal was after the next payment, so I had to wait until the next benefit day. 

Sudden;y I saw the humour in my deal with myself, I could never suicide cause there was always a next payment. I sat in my chair alone, and just laughed and laughed, My favourite quote “be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it” and and how How ironic it was, in a funny way, that my wish for something worth living for, had come true.

My life took a turn right around that time, I often found myself chuckling about how I could never suicide, cause I always had that next payment to make, my outlook on life lifted, I looked around facebook I got involved with another facebook group, and started working on a project they had going, a couple of months found another group of facebook, and started working on their website.

Through my proactive activity's in the second group, I was asked if I would stand for government in the coming elections, although I decided not to do that, part of process of coming to that decision, I sent a private message to the godfather of the law reform that I was helping with, who had been watching me, and the work I was doing. He and his partner have become very good friends, and ended up moving to Raetihi with them, tonight I enrolled at the correspondence school, to do a certificated course in horticulture, so I can live one of my dreams, to have a peace of paper that says I studied, completed and have a certificate saying I can do something.

At the same time, I'm about to embark on a project, that will see me fully employed, at 52 years old, after twenty years of thinking, planning, and attempting suicide. I finally understand, that I'm never going to change what happened when I was a kid, I can never make it better, all I can do, is put that hurt kid in a special place, send her loving thoughts, but not go there or stay there and become that kid again.

I am finding, that I have a use in life, and a whole life rest to live. Suicidal thoughts hasn't featured in my life at all in several months now. Something I would never have believed back in the bad, dark old days.

It certainly is true, you never do know what it just around the corner, over the hill, or over the horizon of your life. Find your own "next payment" you have to make, buy a packet of seeds,, and make a deal that you have to live to see the plant grow to an adult. it maybe volunteering once a week, or like me, 5 bucks to some organisation that needs it, find something, anything, that when you are at your lowest, you have a deal, of something you have to do on a day in the future. 

Lynny

Pain controlled at last update 1 month Later

Pain Cream Update. 
Its been over a month now, since I stopped taking all my various regular prescription medications(close enough to 500 pills a month), and started using the pain cream. 

Things are going particularly well, my brain (thinking and memory) is back working at peak performance, (better than before the stroke), Pain levels are down to nothing except on days when I over do it, then its just a case of using another lot of cream. 

I have started sleeping every night, and have not had any nightmares at all. I used to have them most times I slept, and I even had a dream the other night, I can't remember having a dream ever. 

I have not been bursting into tears at the drop of a hat, and I'm building up the distance I can walk without stopping. No fybro flareups at all, I'm a truly different person. 

I have had several people try the cream, for many different health issues, and all have had great relief from this wonder pain cream,

Contact me, if you want to learn more about the Pain Cream

Ways of Ingesting Cannabis in Food

Ways of ingesting cannabis in food. If you can't or don't like smoking, here's a few ideas for using it in cooking, so you only need a small amount. I haven't done these since I lived in the states, but would work the same here. 

1. Get one of those glass herb bottles, and with the crumble y tiny bits, save them, and trim, crumbled up small it looks like any other herb. 

2. If you have a frozen pizza, sprinkle these crumbs of a couple of pieces, add a wee bit of extra cheese and some oregano covers the taste a bit, and cook as usual, or sprinkle you special herb on some cooked pizza, same thing.

3. get some snack crackers, and any pizza like toppings, or just cheese, grate cheese and sprinkle on top of crackers, crumble a wee big of dak in among the cheese, sprinkle with pepper, and oregano, grill them until cheese is just melted, and eat them, quick easy and yummy, especially if you have a couple of slices of salami, just a tiny bit on each cracker, a bit of tomato or stuff like that.

4. Someone in the group said they make a milky milo, and put some cannabis in it, I guess while he boils the milk. 

5. Same goes for chai, or any milky drink.

6. If you are making a gravy, sprinkle some in the gravy in the last couple of minutes of cooking. 

7. Sprinkle on the butter or sour cream on a baked potato. 

have you got any other ideas for a quick easy snack?

Cannabis Pain Cream Reports 2

2 more Cream Reports

1. Lynny that cream is amazing. I have arthritis in my feet. especially my toe and ankle joints plus stuff from my diabetes. Told the doctor I have been using it on my feet and he kinda just gave me THAT look so I just told him Whatever and laughed.
2. The ointment is helping quite a bit
it is really activating when you use it. there is a tingling unlike other ointment
Well, I find it works for both my osteoarthritis when I rub it in, it stops the broken glass feeling ( hard to rub in though).
And it works for my CRPS, as it starts a painful tingling feeling like it's receiving bloodflow it normally doesn't. I quite like the numbing and tingling feeling,

So thats
4 people with arthritis both Osteo and Rheumatoid Arthritis, from early stages to severe, have all reported it helps with the pain and movement, 1 person said it didn't take away all the pain, but definitely took took pain down from 8/10 to a quite manageable 4-5 out of 10 pain level
2 people with fibro, one severe one not so severe, both reported completely pain free for 5 hours per application.
1 chronic back pain from and old injury, complete pain relief. 4 to 6 hours.
1 with CRPS thats having some relief.

Cannabis Pain Cream report

Last night I spoke to my friend with fibromyalgia, I gave her some some of those pain cream to try. She has been using it regularly for 5 days now, and said its working really well, she is going through a stage where her sleeping is very disrupted, and she said if her pain wasn't so well controlled she would have lost the plot over the past 3 or 4 days. So I have an order from her for a bigger pot, that will last about at least a month or so. 

If anyone wants an order, let me know, I can't send them until prolly next week, will just need the postage the bigger containers, ask me privately, 

Thank you so much "Dakta Farmy Suitical" for making this cream, love you guys,

Cannabis Pain Cream Reports 1

Arthritic Hands I was just talking to someone on skype, While they tried this cream I'm using, on their arthritis, In the hands, He put it on, 

And was talking to me about something else, and after about five minutes or so, I asked him How was hands were, and he was totally amazed, that the pain had Totally gone. The three people, chronic lower back pain, fibromyalgia, And arthritic hands, The cream has worked totally for, that's exciting Don't you think? 

A lot has been made tonight, and they think they can make only about one will brew, without getting another source to the herbal content  

So, We have decided that, It's available only GreenCross members. So if you are a member GreenCross yet, go to this link, and downloading Either the "GREENCROSS NZ Patient-Doctor FORM" That you need to get a doctor to sign, or "The support membership Application" form, lets start helping people be out of pain. I will have a small 2tsp (approx) sample or a larger container.
http://greencross.org.nz/wordpress/signup

Pain controlled at last (update)

I see a mental health worker every 2-3 weeks, she just came in, with a discharge letter from the service here and was totally blown away, at how alert, engaging, happy, energetic, now much packing I had done myself, how well I was moving with little pain, she said I looked and acted more normal that most people in her non-worklife. 

And first asked me if I had won lotto or something, since I was so different to when she saw me almost 2 weeks ago, before I received that cannabis cream. 

I have often talked to her about my experience with cannabis in the states, and what I had learnt since working on the website.

She is a good scout, so I told her that I was totally prescription drug free, since I last saw her, and it happened that I hadn't used the cream today yet, so I showed her the cream, let her smell it, and I showed her how I used it. 

Anyway conversation turned to her mother, who she has just heard has been given a death sentence with lung cancer, and emphysema, and how she is going to north island to help care for their this Thursday. 

She asked if cannabis would help her mother, blah blah, I explained how she might use it for her mother... and SHE IS GOING TO DO IT.... (put some cannabis into her mothers food, I showed her how much, wht to cover the taste of it with (oregano) with just some normal thyme I have here) lol... she has also said that after watching me, she would definitely make sure she votes for legalization for medical use. 

Its lovely to get some really positive feedback from someone, that generally doesn't have anything to do with cannabis, and has never even had a puff. 

Pain controlled at last

Today I changed a light bulb, vacuumed the floor, stood on a stool and cleared out a top cupboard, put out my own rubbish, walked almost 4km's (ok I had to sit a few times, but still) cooked a meal, and did some yoga exercises.

I also have a clear head, and can think properly, and have been smiling and singing most of the day. I guess it doesn't sound like much. But to Me its a massive achievement. Almost 20 years ago, I broke my back, and have been in constant pain ever since.... so whats different now??

Almost a week ago I took my last painkillers, anxiety, sleeping pills, and started using a cream sent to me by a special friend, I have never meet.

Until this morning the withdrawals from that cocktails of drugs the doctor keeps giving me has been pretty hellish. But it doesn't matter now, it was so worth it. 

This cream by the way is made with Cannabis, only need to apply it topically 3 or 4 times a day, and with a few minutes, I'm painfree, and I can actually think clearly I didn't think either thing was really possible at the same time. 

A heartfelt thank you Dakta Farmy Suitical